Hey Dorks!(Spoiler Alert!)
This movie starts out in a high school parking lot and two “Dudes” ditch to go explore an abandoned mental hospital. After poking around they discover a naked girl who is bound and gagged in the boiler room or something. She appears to be dead until they start to see her chest moving. Main Dude’s “Fucked Up Friend” decided he’d like to stick around and have sex with her, Main Dude protests and leaves hospital. “Fucked Up Friend” returns to school the next day and tells Main Dude he must return to the hospital to see what kinda of shit is happening. As it turns out “Fucked Up Friend” tried killing her a bunch of times and it didn’t take. “Dead Girl” is basically some kind of zombie that “Fucked Up Friend” is keeping as a sex slave. I’m bout half way into it at this point and will admit that I’m mildly disturbed... Okay, now “Fucked Up Friend” is making new holes in the girl to make love with (I am so very sorry!)... this is approaching “too much for me to handle”...Side story, Main Dude has crush on “Sweet Innocent Girl” with “Jockey Boyfriend”, who beats up Main Dude.... “Jockey Dude” gets lured to “Dead Girl” by Main Dude, where “Jockey Dude” gets his penis bitten off by “Dead Girl”... Flash to a little bit later “Dead Girl” gets loose and kills everyone including “Sweet Innocent Girl” , except for Main Dude... who now keeps “Sweet Innocent Girl” as zombie sex slave.
This shit was super fucked up and I don’t suggest you watch it, the only reason I didn’t turn it off is that I cannot, once I've started watching something I have to finish it. Actually, scratch that I did turn off Be Kind Rewind.
I decided to put this movie at a 3 out of 5, only because it was a really creative and nontraditional take on the beaten to death zombie genre. But, again kinda fucked up. I'm gonna watch a RomCom tonight (Ghost of Girlfriends Past perhaps) to get my spirits up.
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