CDS5K Prop.

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ComputerDeathHealth

So being a product of Roman Catholic education a better part of my life, I feel the need to sacrifice something over lent. I considered a lot of things, but the main thing I wanted to do was to give up something that would concurrently better myself. I thought about giving up booze, red meat, cigarettes, weed, masturbating, even internet! But the last one would leave literally hundreds of thousands with nothing to warrant living. Ultimately, I decided I am sacrificing unhealthy food. see you in 38 days-ish awesome abs! :)

Cosby Nuggets!

Safe House Review Update

Don't worry Netherlands, I am going to write this... But to quench your Computer Death Thirst, I'll provide you with a line that Denzel Washington should have said to Ryan Reynolds:

DW: This Safe House isn't Safe at all!?
RR: I know... :(

And for you Mother Russia:

Uncredited Photo Series

Really sorry to the photographer that put this series together, but I couldn't find your official set again. I googled a little and everything. So please don't be mad. I thought it was called something like; "Bad endings to hotel stays" I dunno... At any rate. I just wanna say, thank God for art and photography. The poor bastard that composed these images might very well be committing actual crime if he did not have his craft. Enjoy the series, I do!!

Cell Phone Pic

Another of the Dodge Charger, Charging under the Blue Line from this mornings drive.

Guys... Who Wrote This?...

The world we live in is truly the darkest of all comedies. I grabbed the Chicago Sun-Times, abridged for people with short attention spans version, of course. I was waiting for some people to make a burrito for me, and this is what I happen upon. I had to re-read it to make sure what the context of this tragedy was... Does anyone even write for the Sun-Times anymore? Or is it possible they are outsourcing their work to hilarious bloggers?... I wonder when I see things like this.

Everyone is Gay!

Sometimes I have thoughts and ideas that I think are pretty important, but don't necessarily know the appropriate avenue to express it... but then I remember this stupid blog! CDS5K! YEAH!

So, I say that everyone is gay based on the pretense that everyone has masturbated, right? You have, haven't you? You disgust me! So guess what faggot!? You're GAY! Even if it is for one person, being yourself, you are gay! Congrats!... and so am I, I guess under these circumstances. BUT this is only true for me in the singular self universe we know as our reality. I would never have sex with myself as a seperate entity, for example if i saw my doppelganger. That shit would be totally gay, nah mean?!

(Coming Later Today: Thoughts on a Movie No.20, SAFEHOUSE!)

Cell Phone Pic

Here is a Dodge Charger I saw this morning.

CDS5K Mascot?

So, I'm thinking it's basically insane that in the last 5 years we have yet to brand identify CDS5K with an "official" mascot... That being said, I give you the Gay Spaceman.

Computer Death Burgers!!!!

Ground Turkey, Cilantro, Basil, Mozzarella pearls, homemade guacamole (jalepeno, Avacado, minced garlic and tomato puréed), topped with fresh organic sprouts!

Meh, Okay, I guess I like MIA...

The only problem is that I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between some of the actors in the video and my coffee table, which is kind of insulted that he didn't get a call back on an extra spot for the video shoot...

IRON SKY IS COMING!

No big deal, I've only been waiting close to 3 years for this!!!!! OG POST>

S.O.D. HEY-ZUES!

Freeze Frame Motion

I Haven't seen this kind of freeze framed "duding" around since I lived in the Beta house! Where getting punched in the face super hard or someone lighting a fart on fire was waiting around every corner!... Maybe even some alleged stabbings/date raping! (it was a big house not all were raised with the morals I was) that deserves a :(

Water Damage...

Awesome People Hanging Out Together...

From blog of the same title...

Computer Death Nostalgia No.1

CHICKEN McNUGGETS: Shanghai Taste Adventure (Now that's a mouthful ;)

I was looking over another blog called "I'm Remembering", attempting to spark a little personal nostalgia. And I think I remember this... Part of... HOLY ATTENTION SPAN! I'm just coming back to this after about 45 minutes of getting lost in the internet. Maybe as part of some kind of Olympic Tie-in promotion, but it would probably have the Olympic logo if that were the case. In any event (no pun), I do definitely remember a commercial for this Asian Style McNugget, the only thing making it "Asian" was the sauces and chopsticks, btw. The rest of it was just regular old McNuggies... Delicious... Delicious McNuggies... Delicious. I don't even care if there are cow eyes in them or whatever. Guess what? When you batter, fry, chicken and cow eyeballs and place 20 of them in a cardboard box for $4.99. It's mom fucking delicious! Ew, now I know why we say "Mother Fucking". Anyway, I just want to use this as a way to promote eating McNuggets, just continue to exercise or you will start to look like one...


UPDATE: If you click on the recommended videos after this one, you can take yourself on a nice little journey through 80's McDonald's Commercials, Unintentional/Intentional Art...

CDS5K Prop.

A Thing I Want No.4 (But not for what its intended)

The Beardski...

I say "but not for what it's intended" because if you've ever been out west skiing or snowboarding you know the kind of sloper (sounds racist) that wears something like this... It's the same asshole who is cruising around on sled dogs or twin tips, getting in the way of snowboarders or regular skiers who have actually seen a vagina in their life. BUT speaking of vaginas I think this may serve better for some kind of Yeti role play rape scenario... any takers? We can go Dutch on the $35... I won't charge for the Yeti rape.

A Thing I Want No.3

The Bullet Proof Polo...

Maybe it's just the fact that I don't think I look right in a polo shirt... But I usually hate them and the people who wear them. Except my Dad, even if he calls me a fag on occasion at a family function, I certainly don't hate him. OR Tomas, even if he is a fag in real life, I don't hate him and he wears polos sometimes. So I guess there are a couple exceptions. If you are new to the blog and are offended that I used the word "Fag", try not to be okay...What are we talking about again? Oh yeah! the only polo shirt I wouldn't be caught dead in, and that is of course because it is bullet proof, my little computer death bitches. I have a hard time believing that it won't be totally obvious that your polo shirt has bullet proof inserts lining it. But with the amount of dangerous people that probably want me dead, I can't take that chance of not having them. I just ordered a couple, costing me almost $8,000 (with shipping). Stay tuned for the video product test in which I will have a Computer Death Assistant fire a few rounds into my torso, while I'm working on my short game.