I Am Soooo Over It!

Yeah so this 365 photo thing... fuck that shit, seriously fuck it sooo hard, I am done with that, it was a gay idea to begin with. So, don't mistake my anger for frustration in my lack of ability to overcome my A.D.D., because it ain't so drop it already, FUCK! It's getting dark and hell is hot.

Cheese Balls! - Day 18 of 365

For some reason there is a gigantic container of cheese balls at work, no body is really eating them but I think that is the plan. The really cool thing is that I sprinkled some poison on them just in case someone eats them, how funny am I! Maybe its the suspicious name of the brand, they are "UTZ", not Planters or Cheetos. So I think maybe we are just cheese ball snobs and won't eat the cheap shit. Fuckin' cheese balls man.

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Mung... What The FUCK!

This is just fucking terrible and disgusting, a friend of mine by the name of, well, we will just call him "Brad" for anonymity, brought this to my attention after reading about the "Rape Van". Plus he is in the witness protection program because he witnessed the suicide of a mafia lawyer, and a district attorney tried to use him to take down a mob family. Wait I think that is "The Client" with Susan Sarandon and Tommy Lee Jones. Whatever so back to this whole "Mung" thing, there are several definitions of what "Mung" or the art of Munging actually are. So here is, again from the "urban dictionary" some definitions of this... thing:

1. Mung
Use a newspaper to find the obituary of a recently deceased man or woman. Then must find a buddy, with no shame, who will aid them in this act. The partners then go to the cemetary where they dig up their victim, and flip a coin. The loser, (or winner depending on how sick you are), applies his/her lips to the genitals or anus of the corpse, while the other partner proceeds to climb the nearest tombstone and elbow drop the corpse's stomach. Thus forcing out a blend of rich bodily fluids and embalming materials onto the partners. This blend is called mung. The act of getting this blend on your face is called munging.

2. Mung

You and a friend dig up a not-too-recently deceased woman, preferably over 60 years in age. You lay her face up on the ground and you put your mouth on her vagina. Your friend takes a running start and jumps onto her stomach. You eat whatever comes out into your mouth.

I am so, so, so very sorry for even putting this up here but for one reason or another, I just needed to. Thank you "Brad" for bringing this to our attention, you are a true American Hero.

Mickey Loves Ya - Day 16 of 365

There was an all day Rocky marathon on the MGM HD channel on Sat. so I was inspired to wear my "Mickey" while I watched. The quality of the photo is lousy, because it's from my phone but I want to keep this 365 thing legit ya know. Rocky is the best, not as good as Jaws though or German snuff.

Another 666 - Day 15 of 365

This is the knee of a pair of my pants, the wear on the knee looks to me like the number 666, maybe I am just obsessed with Satan or something, I'm not sure. But yeah I think its there, so the makers of this particular pair of pants are satanists.

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Mirror - Day 14 of 365

A mirror... just a picture of the mirror, again, I used my phone to take it so the quality is garbage. But I was a little bad this week at posting pictures, so I am going back through my pictures to find ones that were take on the days I should have posted them.

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Condesation - Day 13 of 365

This is the condensation on the cup of my "Diet Coke" that I enjoyed with my 20 Piece Chicken McNuggets, Double 1/4 Pounder w/ Cheese, Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch and Large French Fry. It's cool though because I have a tapeworm, named Henry.

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What is a "Rape Van"? How can I Avoid One?

Nobody likes the idea of being raped in a grungy old van, or really anywhere for that matter. One sure way to avoid the infamous "Rape Van" is to familiarize yourself with what it is. The urban dictionary defines it as this:

A certain type of van with no windows on the sides, usually from the 70's or 80's, and in poor aesthetic condition. Implies that it is the type of ride often chosen by a rapist.

I know, I know, some of you out there might be asking; "Hey there Mr. Mikey, didn't you have a van in high school? Are you a Rape Van?" The answer is, NO, I am not a rapist and my van was not a Rape Van. If you look at the above definition of Rape Van, you will see that it is from the 70's and 80's. the van in question was made in the year 1990... so, I'm in the clear and so were you! It's scary to think how many of my good friends I would have raped in that thing if it had been made just one year earlier. That's some pretty scary stuff. So in general just stay away from creepy looking vans because they are most likely a "Rape Van". Godspeed everyone.

Rainin' n' Junk - Day 12 of 365

It's raining tonight, has been all day I think, this is taken looking out my front door, where my gutter is clogged causing it to leak all of the place like a damn bastard. This is getting boring and I still have 353 days left... It will be a miracle if I actually make it all the way through a year. I was trying to watch the debate this evening but the damn dish just couldn't keep it going so I had to resort to the DVR, and watch the same Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes I have watched about a trillion times. I'd should be drinking right now but whatever.

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Food to Eat - Day 11 of 365

Here we have the partial prep work for a delicious little stir-fry I made for myself for dinner, shredded carrot, baby corn, asparagus and the knife I used to cut it all up. The same knife I have used to cut up oh so many homeless people in my day. See, what you do is bait them, give them five dollars here and then until they begin to expect it. Park your car in the alley, then later that evening, tell them you have a flat and you will give the 50 bucks if they help you for a minute. Ask them to set the jack, make sure no one is around and go to town on that homeless, screaming, "You won't be stealing anyone else's laptop bag, with their favorite sketch book in it from their office anymore will you." Good evening!

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10 after 11 - Day 10 of 365

Took the bike out for a little 2-hour ride tonight, It's pretty cool because there is NO ONE around. It's like a weird like twilight zone episode or something. Winter is gonna be here before we know it and we will all be depressed and not be able to go out side and many of us will kill ourselves during this time. So I urge everyone to spend as much time outside as they can for the next however long. Winter blows, and so do all of you. Here is a picture of the clock at the train station on main street.

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Shattered - Day 9 of 365

Hola! Weekends are hard to keep this photo thing going, but I did see this sort of cool looking picture, Of the broken window of my back door, the sun was shining through and casting the shadow of the spider-webbed, glass. I'm really not sure how this window was broken, I woke up one day and it just was. The other one about two panels over is completely missing because I put my foot through it like a drunken psycho... it was totally bad ass, I just wish Slayer would have been playing while I did it, that would have been even more badass. Oh and don't ever put your foot through a window, when you are locked out of your house, especially while wearing flip flops, it will make for a pretty bloody ordeal. Use a rock, and your fucking brain!

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Gator Attack - Day 8 of365

Phew, Almost missed this one for sure, But this is an alligator I have... don't ask how or why but I made it home safely and then this guy tried to bite me all serious and stuff, it is safe to assume that I am inebriated, on scotch and wine and guiness and meth and peyote .....

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McCain = "Maverick"

"That's right Iceman... I am dangerous!"....

F-Me Eyes! - Day 7 of 365

So I was just jagin' around taking close-ups of Palin on my TV during the debate, mainly because she is easier on the eyes than Biden. I took a bunch of shots and came across this one of Sarah P. Wow she is trying to seduce us, just look at here expression... she wants it bro... she wants it... big time... big time.... you know what I'm sayin? ah, you don't care, get outta here. Just thought it was neato.

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Night Cap - Day 6 of 365

Cutting it kinda close here, for day 6, I really kinda forgot to take a picture today so in a last minute scramble I took a picture of my Clearly Canadian and Vodka (which mixes up deliciously) that I am drinking. Don't judge me mother f'er, yeah I can see you sitting there in your Wranglers and tight plaid shirt, chewin' tabacco and listening to Hank Williams. I've been carrying around a blade lately specifically to sort out people like you in your ivory towers with your space ships and candy canes. Whoa, whoa, sorry bout that, so here is today's picture.

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