Ninjas, Vikings & Pirates

That's right what could be better than Ninjas, Vikings and Pirates, honestly, nothing! Ninjas are sneaky assasins, Vikings are plundery rapists and finally, Pirates are drunky plunderers (in many ways Pirates and Vikings are pretty similar in their motives, the both love to plunder, but as you can see from the picture they look and taste very different). There are not many of these guys around anymore, mostly because of taxes, boarder control and global warming. The few that remain are probably really depressed, one minute some Ninja is scaling walls and disappearing in smoke clouds, the next he's living paycheck to paycheck busing tables at Applebee's, I've seen it a thousand times. A Viking who used to spent his days and nights doing squat thrusts and fucking shit up throughout the greater european coastine, is now calling your house to tell you that your copy of "Big Mamma's House" is way overdue. Pirates who sailed the seven seas robbing merchant vessels while getting shitfaced on rum, sadly, are now strolling the street corners giving handjobs and other types of jobs (that you haven't even heard of...it involves lifting up an eyepatch), to pay child support. So, the next time you go to Applebee's, Rent a movie or A guy you know visits a prostitute with an eyepatch and a peg leg, remember this isn't your everyday hooker, blockbuster employee or bus boy. Treat them the way you would treat a bus boy, blockbuster employee or hooker, that used to be a Ninja, Viking or Pirate, with Mad Crazy Respect! because if you don't you could find yourself at the business end of a Poison Dart, Axe or Rapier*.

*type of sword, not related to any kind of rape, including sword rape!