Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Fight Night: Monks vs. Commies

Let me try to put this in perspective for you, Osama Bin Laden is to America as the Dalai Lama is to China. Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao and His Holiness The Dalai Lama are totally pissed at each other and might be featured in an upcoming no-holds-barred UFC style face-off. Several major networks are looking to capitalize on what could be the fight of a lifetime. The whole thing started because of a recent protest on March 10th, the anniversary of a failed 1959 uprising against China. In 1950 after a long time of Tibet being independent of them, Chinese troops showed up at their front door and said "we own you now bitches", and Tibet was all "your the ones who are bitches, bitch", and this went on and on, and is still going on to this day. The main focus of the monks is "Shut up about the Olympics in Beijing and look at all the fucked up bad shit ya'lls is doin". Unfortunately, early reports say that up to about 100 people may have died in these recent protests in Lhasa, The D.L. has stated to China and Tibetans "stop committing violence". Wen Jiabao is convinced and claims that they have evidence linking the violent acts directly to the "Dalai Clique". In the end the Dalai Lama has offered two solutions, either he steps down from his position, or they have it out in a man-to-man, one-on-one, pay-per-view bash. It seems like Wen is negotiating the stipulations of the fight with his agent and is close to inking the deal. Early numbers are Looking like this:

Dalai Lama -2000

Wen Jiabao +1300

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