Chewy Truth Nuggets

As a race (the human race), we are one, however, within the "human race" we are composed of many different races or ethnicity's, I should say. The are a lot of common stereotypes that are associated with each ethnicity. Today I would like to replace stereotypes with fact, 100% truth, in this blog called "Chewy Truth Nuggets". I decided to focus on ethnicity's that are not as common as some of the others, like how we all know Jews are rich and love bagels or how Puerto Ricans always have a switchblade on them. So here it is and remember none of this is meant to be offensive, because all I am doing here is providing you all with the truth.

- Greeks: Are born without pee holes, or urethras, and they always do that duckbill thing with Pringles. Furthermore, Santorini is actually the birthplace of our beloved Pringles! Do you guys like Pringles? Because I do!... Pringles! Word on the street is that pringles are actually flamable, I'd test it out right now but alas, I am Pringleless :( Also, Greek people invented slivers, and no one likes slivers! Booooooooo!

- Venezuelans: Their unuasually slippery bones are made up of about 70% rainbow candy canes, after you skin and gut one, you can totally eat him/her! Unfortunately we live in a world where it is illeagal and frowned upon to harvest Venezuelans for their delicious bones. Think about it, when is the last time you had one of those tasty rainbow candy canes?... Oh, about a month and a half ago... Well that's because of the "Grey" market, it falls short of the "Black" market because people don't care enough about protecting this delicacy, but on the surface, they would probably not approve. My head hurts.

- Turks: They don't know about monkeys or the internet, and if they ever saw either one, they would freak the fuck out. In related news, let's say you are cornered in a dark alley with a bunch of angry Turks. If you don't relax and do the following, you'll probably end up looking like a Kabob (they eat Kabobs, Right?). Okay, get down on one knee and pretend that you're Karl Malone, BUT if they ask, you are actually Moses Malone. Lastly, all you need to do is stare them in the eyes and say, "What is this the Brige and Tunnel crowd?", nervously laugh as the gang parts and lets you pass.

- Chileans: Don't ever sleep in the same bed as a Chilean because they are sleep ticklers... Also they are sleep poopers, and boarderline violent pillow humpers. At puberty they get Cyborg arms, lose their ability to swim and will encourage you to "get gay with them". Also, if you order "Chilean Sea Bass" in a restaurant, you're probably not getting the real deal. You see the Chileans have been hording all of their Sea Bass and training them basic Microsoft Office skills, don't ask me why. Probably so they can get off the pole and get a respectable job, like with copiers and water coolers and all. Lot's of Chilean Sea Bass I know miss the money from dancing but feel better about themselves and their kids future :)

That's all for now, I want to leave you with something else, I almost choked to death on my dinner while I was writing this, for realzies. Also, I will be watching a movie I downloaded today, it's called, "Against the Dark". What's this movie about? I have two words for you: "Steven Seagal fighting against a bunch of zombie/vampires".

Oh man I still gotta make a picture for this thing, dang!... Okay, I'm tired cuz I had to wake up at 4am today and gotta tomorrow too, so you get RoboCop.