Proud Lithuanian Moments

I heard this story today on the radio while I was casually showering regardless of the fact I was already 20 minutes late for work. The blood pumping through my 'MERICAN veins did find its way there through a Lithuanian heritage. Really you don't hear too much about us as a people, we don't cause too much trouble... But, occasionally we'll try to strike female police officers (constables in this case) with our penis's. You heard me right, here is the story:

Marium Varinauskas tried to strike an officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen (UK) Sheriff Court was fined $920 (not bad... almost worth it?).

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offense.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk and disorderly.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

Prosecutor Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid being struck...."

OKAY! you get the gist, I do have a few logistical questions with how this actually went down. Was the female office a "Little Person"? Was the Lithuanian man a giant? I don't know, I'm just having a hard time understanding how this went down. Somethings are just better left unknown, either way, thanks for making us (Lithuanians) look like a bunch of drunk pervos!