Mustard

click to enlarge

Mustard, it's good, really good and unfortunately I feel that it takes a back seat in the world of condiments, I notice a lot of people sort of gloss over it when setting up their gear in the pre-gorge. It is officially listed as #3 in the states as most favored condiments. Ketchup is #1 and I was kinda surprised here but Salsa is #2. When the day comes and I have to chose between one or the other and not both, I go mustard every time, and quite frankly I am shocked that I am in the minority here. The origin of Mustard was always believed to have come from inside the rocks of Stonehendge, placed there by the Druids to appease their pagan gods. It is now known  that the Romans can probably be credited with the mustards we know today. When they weren't engaging in homo-eroticism or man-boy love, they would mix unfermented grape juice, with ground mustard seeds to make "burning must", mustum ardens, "must-ard". There are several common forms of mustard and potentially hundreds of special varieties. Plain Jane American Yellow Mustard is probably the most well known, good for standard BBQ's and Tokyo Drifting. Dijon Mustard originated in France, this variation gets its flavor from adding white wine and burgundy wine. Creole Mustard, is used for exfoliating your feet, curing STDs and warding of ghosts of Thai hookers you banged in 1986 (they just wander around thinking they're still alive, offering you sex. I actually had a dream that I had sex with a ghost like 2 days ago... that's probably the type of thing I should keep to myself, and for the record it was a girl ghost, not Patrick Swayze). Chinese Mustard is awesome, they usually give it to you with egg rolls or crab rangoon, it's really strong and clears the sinuses, so DRINK IT IN AMERICA! I am bored and feeling particularly uninspired at the moment that's probably why this is just stupid bullshit.