Computer Death Spells 5000

Remember that book/movie The Secret, where you wish for something super-duper hard and then you get it. I decided I'm gonna start my own VooDoo spells, who knows, I might even start my own religion, just to start getting shit done. Here is a short list of some of my new VooDoo Religion spells (Name of new VooDoo and Religion still in the works):

-The Enemy VooDoo Spell:
This is basically a spell to do "something" to someone who may have wronged you or just some fuck you wanna fuck with. The severity of this spell can involve anything from making someones nose itch to straight up killing a bitch, ya heard. If I wereyou, I would keep it minimal in severity, you don't wanna be fucking up your shit Karmically. Any way here is what you need to do. 1. Get a Guiness, Bleed an once of your own blood into the pint glass. 2. Imagine the face of your target as you chug the Guiness until empty without stoping. 3. Flip the pint glass upside down on a thin layer of dead leaves place a white candle on top of the glass and let it burn for 45 seconds to 1 minute. While the candle is burning think about tornadoes, earthquakes and shit like that 4. For the final step where you actually decide what will happen to said enemy, I decided to leave this step out. Ultimately it's bad news, and I'd like to reserve the right to kill people with spells only for myself. Since I am already fucked for some of the terrible things I've done in my life, it's fine for me to just keep plowing through, but stay pure children... don't smoke drugs. IF you would like to know though, I will sell it for a vial of the purchasers blood and some of their hair.

-The Unlimited Lives on Contra VooDoo Spell:
This is one of the oldest most sacred spells in the CDS religion and it is very powerful... do you like imortality? 1. Up, Down, Up Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, A, B, Select, Start. This is to be done when jungle appears on demo screen.

-The Control Sharks with your mind VooDoo Spell:
I fucking LOVE sharks like... they're the best... they're my bros... I love them. I also like controling them with my mind head too! Heres how u do it. 1. You'll need a spoonful of sand, it's gonna get hard but... you've gotta eat that sand. 2. You'll also need a sharks tooth, I always have them on hand because I'm fucking crazy. Stick the tooth into the palm of your left hand. 3. Once you've had a nice pool of blood fill up in your palm, smear it down your face. 4. Bury the sharks tooth in the ground with an old G.I. Joe guy. 5. Your pretty much good to go, I suggest you fly to San Fran (hit up "Mavricks" Pointers kick it there a ton... a "pointer" is a Great White fag fuck!), or Cape Town, and skin dive with these prettys and put you shark control to use.

-The Raise The Dead VooDoo Spell: This is an oldy but goody. 1. Run a bath and crack 3 eggs into it, you will also want to add some dirt about 2 cups to the water. 2. Place 4 candles in each corner of the tub 2 blue 2 green, allow them to burn thoughout the process. 3. Submerse your body fully in the water and say this in your mind: "Stability in four corners, death is natures bad breath". 4. Continue to hold your breath until you start to see blue and yellow dots, now you should come up and breath some oxygen. 5. extigish each of the candles between your finger tips and cough each time you do. FYI: the dead person will not appear immeadiately, you will have a lucid encounter four days from the spell, in a subcoscious state. enjoi ;)

Be careful, I did a lot of trial and error runs with these, creating your own spells and religion is quite diffiCULT. This shit is totally real, I've done all of these because I told myself i needed to in a dream while we were fighting each other. BUT, they work so... I dunno, there are a lot more, I'll post more of them later. I Love You and I think we should get married.