I was getting ready for work this morning and a familiar face appeared in the upper left hand of the mirror. It was indeed a person (not really a human) by the name of Puto. I haven't seen him in about 1 year and I wasn't happy to see him now at all. Puto is a bald, blue-faced sort of demon that used to bother me from time to time, he has the eyes of a cat, and an upside down cross in the center of his forehead, he also ironically has a halo around his head and a floating back crown above that, and maybe the most intimidating factor is a mouthful of long sharp teeth so large he cannot properly close his mouth. He used to poison the water in my house because he wanted to kill me, but I never drank the tap water so I survived. When I saw him this morning I was more annoyed than frightened, but as it turns out he wasn't here to kill me this time. Apparently, he left some shit at my house during the period he was trying to poison me. The conversation went something like this: Me: What do you want Puto?
Puto: Oh, well it's nice to see you too michael.
Me: Sorry Puto but you did try to kill me like a hundred times... how was Palm Springs?
Puto: Well, you know, not like it used to be, as they say: "Change is Life's only Constant".
Me: Right... So just what the fuck do you want?
Puto: Two things actually, my toothbrush and...
Me: Your toothbrush? Uh, Pretty sure I threw it out.
Puto: WHAT? That was like a $180 Sonic Care Elite e9500 Custom Care, Thanks, Thanks a ton!
Me: Yeah well again, you did try to kill me soooo....
Puto: What about the replacement heads, those are like $30 a pop?
Me: Gone.
Puto: Son.... of.... a.... whore.
Me: You want me to call the priest, maybe have another exorcism up in this bitch?
Puto: No, no, no, sorry, I couldn't walk right for a week after this last one.
Me: Okay no toothbrush, no replacement heads is there something else before you get the fuck out of here?
Puto: Yeah, I'm like 99% sure I left my iPod here.
Me: Dude.... Get the fuck out of here.
Puto: Right.
Me: Asshole.
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