Yeah so, for those of you who don't already know there have been some major changes in Tomas's life, for one, he’s now Irish, and second, he owns and operates a rare / collectible candle store out in Nebraska somewhere. This has been his life long dream, other than getting engaged to that Asian (future) wife of his, oh the many ways I despise her so. Anyway, as I was saying, we are all really excited for him and wish him great success. Basically the store will specialize in candles, all things candles, candles smell good and Tomas loves them, so that.... you sons of bitching assholes is a recipe for a fantastic voyage on the ship called "makin' chedda!". You see when Tomas was small, sickly Lithuanian immigrant in New York City he was very poor and since he was ugly and his parents didn’t want him he was forced to fend for himself and sell candles on the street, oh and of course provide a client with the occasional rusty trombone. So before he knew it, he had hit the big-time, if you were burning candles in the early 1980’s there is a 90% chance that it was one of Tomas’s. Okay so fast forward a bit, Tomas went on to put him self through Harvard Law, and as we all know now working as a hot shot criminal defense lawyer. You would recognize him from such great trails as “the OJ one”, “the R. Kelly one”, “the Michael Vick one” and most recently he represented me after I wiped out an entire race of South American pigmies, previously believed to be extinct. Needless to say (but I will), he won the case, we got shit-faced and we pissed on the graves of all those dead pigmies! Now it is time for Tomas to resurrect his true passion in life, candles. Good Luck old sport, Good Luck. If you were in the car with me I would gently kiss your hand as if you were the fancy prostitute I am on my way to pick up right now. 5000
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