Kali (a.k.a. Kalika, Krazy Arm's McDougan)Hello, today I will tell you a little bit about this hindu goddess who is a seriously bad ass bitch you definitely do not want to screw with. The best way to describe some of the things she is involved with are: kind of deathy and sort of destructiony. Officially her title is not "The Goddess of Death", but rather of Time and Change. She is often depicted as wearing a necklace of heads, standing on the body of Shiva, holding a blood soaked knife and holding some sorry son of a bitches freshly decapitated head, dripping his blood into a bowl. Some of her weaknesses include: Popcorn Chicken from KFC, Hypnotiq, Getting Dusted, Law and Order: SVU and Bulimia. Kali is most famous for killing equally bad ass demon "Raktabija". The story goes something like this: Durga and her assistants were fighting Raktabija, stabbing him, cutting him and so on. The problem is this worsened the situation because every drop of blood that spilt from Raktabija turned into a clone of himself creating and army of demons. Durga was overwhelmed and evoked the spirit of Kali, she arrived ready to crack skulls armed with a sword, noose and a skull topped staff. She slaughtered the demon army by sucking the all of the blood from Raktabija devouring his army of clones. She danced on the corpses of the fallen demons to celebrate a little bit, she popped in her Bel Biv DeVoe cassette and peeled off in her 1987 Buick Grand National. This is my interpretion of what happened any way, she probably stopped at a pub for a few pints to get the taste of blood out of her mouth.
No comments:
Post a Comment