Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Killer's Mind

I recently caught up with Jaws in an exclusive one on one interview, to see if I could understand what makes this 35 ft., 8000 lb. killing machine so sexy all of the time.

Me: Let me first say, I'm a huge fan, seen all your movies.
Jaws: Oh, thanks that's really nice of you to say, I love meeting a fan.

Me:
Well let's get started, your kind of a dickhead, no?
Jaws: I'm sorry?

Me: For example, you eat people indiscriminately, man, woman or child, it's fair game as far as your concerned.
Jaws: Look, I can't change what I am, and I won't sit here and pretend I am something I am not. Being born the way I am is no easy thing for anyone. If you want this interview to continue I suggest you change your tone.

Me: Fair enough, lets talk about what you just said, who are you? what drives Jaws in life?
Jaws: I grew up in Jeresy City, NJ, my dad, Stanely was brakeman working for the railroad. He drank a lot and used to beat me, my siblings and my mom. He crossed the line when he actually beat my older brother Florian to death, he split after that and so did I.

Me: So I assume this is when your temper and willingness to kill was born?
Jaws: It's always been there, but this is when I started really embracing that part of me.

Me: What do you mean embracing?
Jaws: Well, I killed my first person when I was 16, his name was Charlie and he used to pick on me so I beat him to death with a steel rod one day, I cut off his fingers and removed his teeth, then threw his body in a frozen lake. After that killing became fun and easy.

Me: Jesus!
Jaws: Next thing you know I was working for the Gambino crime family as an enforcer, if the boss wanted someone dead I would do it no questions asked, i'd use guns, strangulation, knifes even poison...that was one of my favorites, cyanide killed quickly and was hard to detect in a toxicology test.

Me: Uhm, ok I've got to go, I forgot to uh...it was nice talking to you, good luck with everything and thanks for the interview.
Jaws: Of course, it was my pleasure.

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