AVENGERS 3D (SPOILERS Y'ALL)
Finally got around to seeing this long awaited comic team-up film that has been attempting (and succeeding) to build anticipation for comic and film nerds for the last few years. Going in expectations were kind of right in the middle, because I've been let down a lot with comic adaptations, but had heard good things. I've trained myself to not let film release expectations get too high, because ultimately I'm usually disappointed. But, with this middle of the road expectation level, I always pretty much have a good time at the movies. The first thing I noticed is how good the use of 3D seems to be getting. They don't pander as much to the medium by just throwing shit "at you". Instead they are using it to create rich shots with incredible depth and detail that really does enhance the viewing experience, specifically for something like avengers an action/adventure/bestiality film. Not too sure I can see the appeal of watching something like The Help in 3D, but who knows. Has Tyler Perry done 3D Madea movie yet?... Did Tyler Perry make The Help for that matter? Or am I just being slightly racist?... Of all the Avengers movies, I think I liked Iron Man and Thor the best. I feel like I should revisit the Hulk(s) though. Which by the way, I think Mark Ruffalo played a great Bruce Banner, I don't know how many hours this man spent in a make-up chair becoming the Hulk, but he deserves an Oscar (I know it's CG tardos).
The first act of the film did a really good job in bringing together all the members of the Avengers and sort of recapping who they were and what personality and power dynamics they would bring to the group. Basically the story is this, Loki a demigod and Thor's brother from Asgaurd, has gotten his hands on the Tesseract, some sort of limitless universal power source that he intends to enslave the human race with. One-Eyed Super Spy Nick Fury (Sam L. Jackson or O.E.S.S.N.F officially) and S.H.I.E.L.D., an ancient old organization who's soul mission is to protect the human race, has reopened the Avengers initiative to combine the powers of the greatest super heroes against the threat of Loki. They added a new character in this one, Hawkeye, who is played by Jeremy Renner, right of the bat he gets possessed by Loki, but, kind of nice to add something fresh to the cast. Black Widow doesn't really add too much to the storyline, they try to play her as some kind of master interrogator, but the "Ah-Ha" scene in which she figures out Loki's plan makes no sense as to how she got there, Point A did not lead to Point B, more like Point A to Point Z with no deductive Points between. Does that make sense? Maybe I'm the asshole here, I'm really just looking for something I didn't like and it's hard because there really wasn't anything bad about it. Definitely the most fun I've had at the movies in a while. Captain America's character didn't really do anything for me at first. But, later he begins to fill his role as the "leader" of the Avengers, he may not have the most overwhelming force or superpower, but he can bark orders and pull the team back together in times of dismay.
There is a teaser after the end credits scene that I almost missed, thank goodness I stayed per the advice of CDL. What am I new!?! Anyway the cut scene after the end credits is worth the extra couple of minutes almost pissing your pants. They introduce Galactus to be the villain in the next Avengers team-up, which I also expect will have some additional team members, considering just about every Marvel character had teamed up with them at some point. But in the end, it left me wanting more, like a homo hobo in a cash prize dick sucking contest.
I will present 4.5 out of 5 deathmarx for this super fun movie. I barely swore at all in this post,
we are growing up!! Except for that end part about the gay homeless person blowing dicks.. Pretty good tho.
Quote of the Movie:
Thor: He's my brother [about Loki]
Black Widow: He killed 80 people in 2 days
Thor: ...He's adopted
UPDATE: I Guess it was Thanos at the end... Not Galactus
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