Thoughts on a Movie No. 13

I wasn't too excited about this movie at first because all the early marketing seemed to paint it as a sort of goofy, Spy Kids-esque bullshit super hero comedy. As the movie drew closer to it's release and I heard some positive reviews (comedy film nerds), and it was revealed to be a way more intense, violent, dark comedy. There was a coin toss situation yesterday afternoon between seeing this and Hot Tub Time Machine, and I'm really happy that fate chose Kick-Ass. Recognizable actors would include Nick Cage, and the kid who will forever be known as "McLovin", see I don't even know his real name! Also, you might recognize, Clark Duke, I believe his name is?... who is also in Hot Tub Time Machine. I'm was not familiar with the graphic novel that the movie is based on but, the story is pretty good. Basically a teenage dude who is an avid comic book reader, starts to wonder why no one has ever tried to actually be a super hero. After getting mugged one afternoon he decides to make a go at it and become the super hero vigalante known as "Kick-Ass". His first attempt is less than successful when he confronts his muggers from the previous day, only to viciously get the shit kicked out of him, stabbed in the gut and brutally hit by a car. He has to undergo major surgery and rehab time, but the injury has left him with metal plates and screws throughout his body and a bunch of severed nerve endings, leaving him to feel little or no pain. There are other super heroes along the way, the father/daughter duo "Big Daddy (Nick Cage), "Hit Girl" also "Red Mist" (McLovin'), all of whom "Kick-Ass" has alliances with. That's all I really wanna talk about because I dont wanna give away too much... and I don't wanna write any more.

This one shakes out a 4.67 out of 5, for me, a very high score because this movie is awesome.

Quote of the Movie: "Okay you cunts... Let's see what you can do now!"
-Hit Girl (played by 11- year old actress)

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-04/10e

I've been Doggin' it lately with the posts, I will get some shit going here at the tail end of April. Jesus! two dog puns in the first sentence... amazing! This is a picture of Oscar I took while I was cutting the grass.. while smoking grass... ass, gas or grass, no one rides for free. I used a cool "Tilt-Shift" filter app on my informationPhone.

Masthead - 04/08/10

Hey, here is a lil' bullshit UFO masthead I just whipped up. The lazers kinda look like the ones from "LazerTits". The photo is legit by the way, thats a real UFO!

Movie Pitch Monday (on a Thursday)

I'd like to start by saying, I'm not one of these Star Wars nut jobs. I enjoyed these movies when I was a child and never really sat down to watch the newer trilogy. These movies are not for grown-ups, that's why you waited in line for three weeks, and after seeing Phantom Menace you were disappointed. BECAUSE you're 40 now, AND you work at Kinko's, AND you're stupid, even though you think you're smart (take that). I think that's a nice little segue way to the pitch...

"Man of the Hoth"
In this Crazy, Sexy, Cool, Single Camera ("Office-style"), Rom-Com-Dram, you'll find yourself laughing, crying and sailing all the way to the bone zone (sexually aroused). A century after the epic battle we witnessed in Empire Strikes Back, the Planet Hoth is a pretty quiet place. There are small bands of nomadic tribes spread across the frozen terrain. After being captured then brutally raped and abused by a Yeti in a cave for like three weeks, Luke (our hero) has found solace and safety in Roman Catholicism. So, after slaying the Yeti, he went online with his light sabre (yes, those things have WiFi) and became a registered intergalactic space priest. Luke travels though the tundra attempting to enlighten the bands of weary travelers... but to no avail. There is one memory that has haunted Luke for years, the one where he sliced open the belly of that ton-ton and used it as a sleeping bag... that memory. As a form a personal redemption and a gift of giving back to the ton-ton community of Hoth, Luke begins to teach the word of God specifically to these creatures. Luke becomes very close (think gorillas in the mist) with the Ton-Tons, he lives in the heard and is treated as one of their own. He believes he is the only person in the universe who can communicate and teach the good word to the ton-tons. After further examination however, it seems this is all part of a delusion because he's been slowly losing his mind after contracting Yeti Syphilis from all the Yeti raping that he endured earlier. (Here's where I drive the pitch home!) This is a beautiful coming of age tale that has it all and will make your studio hundreds of millions of dollars, maybe even Billions if we do it in 3-D... Sooooo, come on, let's do this. I already made the poster art at the beginning of this post!

I... Love... This...

Sorry if you're trying to view this on your iPhone or something, I'm not sure if Vimeo vids work on it. But watch this on one of your old fashioned computers!

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-04/10d

The expression on this lamb cake... it's as though he is fully aware of his fate, but he's trying to appear happy-go-lucky.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-04/10c

Easter Dinner: Kugelis (Lithuanian "flat potato dish"), asparagus with hollandaise, green bean casserole and some delicious ham.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-04/10c

As I stumbled into the bathroom Sunday morning I was shocked at what I found.... Based on the can of PBR that was left in there the night before, it would seem as though there was hipster scum in my bathroom at some point!

In all seriousness PBR has great full bodied flavor and for the price you can't go wrong. It's just unfortunate that so many bearded Jason Swartzman types have embraced it as a default beverage.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-04/10b

This terrifying shack is actually my garage, it was raining on Sat. morning and it just added significantly to the creepy factor.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-04/10a

There is this huge Chinese restaurant on Ogden Ave. that has been closed down for a while. I coulda swore that it was re-opened, but I tried to go there with my sister yesterday and unfortunately... still closed, the building is awesome and I can only imagine how cool it was on the inside when it was open.