Metal Album Cover of the Month: February

Carnifex - Hell Chose Me
I downloaded this album strictly because of the cover art. It's pretty fucking crazy though, good work out or killing music I guess.

Cell Phone Pics - CDS5k-02/10a-g

I really slacked off this week on the blog here, so I'll put up a bunch of pictures that I took with my cellular telephone that has a built in digital camera.

Salmon Cakes I made for myself recently, also with a spicy chili cocktail sauce.

They were trying to unload all the Tigerade at Jewel. More like "FUCKUS!" am I right people!? You do the math! (pushes up sleeves of sport jacket), I'm a stand-up comedian from 1989... Alright never mind, suck my dicks, you jerks!

If you pumpernickel eatin' mutha... haven't revisited this in a while, DO IT! It's also helpful to watch it in your bed on your laptop, while you're a little high.

This a photo of me with some dead guys from a long time ago, circa 1958.

Potato Pizza that I made when I had a pizza party for myself.

Sometimes you just gotta let your Josh Grobens (balls) hang out when you're domesticising (doing house things).

There was an election recently, so I made my own lawn signs. "Ghost Shark" is my alter-ego.

Killing People with Mac Products

This is funny because I was laying in bed the other night holding my iPhone, appreciating it's weight and durability and I thought, "I wonder if anyone has ever been beaten or bludgeoned with an iPhone?" It must have happened, I decided. Anyway I came upon this quote from filmmaker Kevin Smith, during a MacWorld Q&A. It would appear that I'm not the only person who thinks about harming/killing people with Mac products.

Movie Pitch Monday (on a Friday)

"ROBOCOP 4: STREET SWEEPER"
If you can imagine it, Detroit has gotten even worse over the last 20 years! The OCP Corporation is still hard at work developing artificial intelligence technology for military and police applications. Our hero, Randolph Broomba is an ex-military spec ops officer, who leaves his post after being betrayed by his commanding officer. He takes to the mean streets of a post-apocalyptic Detroit. The city is overrun with an evil, super violent gang of Dyson Vacuums. Shit gets pretty real for Broomba when he witnesses his family being murdered and raped by the Dysons. Broomba will do whatever it takes to avenge the brutalities bestowed upon his innocent family, In ROBOCOP 4... STREET SWEEPER!

Energy Drink Review - 02/03/10

I was pretty excited today, I saw a couple new RockStar Energy Beverage flavors in the "2 for $3" bin at the BP by my cribbles. There was a Cola version and this "RockStar Recovery" stuff, I guess it's got electrolytes er somethin', but I was thrown off a bit when I took a sip (you see I don't inspect anything that goes into my body). It was non-carbonated and tasted like lemonade. Not bad, but my expectations were a carbonated beverage, and when your beverage expectations are not met... it's just kinda meh. The packaging is kind cool with the black top and stuff. If you like lemonade you'll like this stuff for sure, it's basically just super caffeinated lemonade w/ electrolytes.

I'll give this energy bev a 3.5 out of 5

...also probably good with a vodka drink

LOST Season 6 Episode 1 (on a Post-It)

SPOILER ALERT!
Here's where we are left off after the explosion at the site of the "Swan" station construction site from season 5. I'm fully back on board with LOST and am super glad I watched season 5 last week. Here's a quick Post-It summary of what's going on, I know there is a lot, but there's only so much I can fit on a Post-It. Hopefully, I'll get better at this as the season goes on. If you don't like LOST and hate me for this post, it's okay, I get it... I hate me too, but that's what booze is for! ;)

Here is a way more in-depth summary of episode 1 season 6, it's actually pretty funny too, I wish Best Week Ever was still on tv: BWE LOST PREMIERE BREAKDOWN!!!

Computer Death Site: February 2010

Although it is only Feb. 2nd I'm so GD confident that I will not see a better website/blog this month than this. It's Mysterious, it's majestic, it's magnificent, it's mustachioed! I just decided to pull the trigger and announce it as the official Computer Death Site for February 2010(x). This can be chalked up as a Celebrity Tweet of the Week too, because I learned of this precious little nugget through a tweet from Chris Hardwick, last night.

Here it is: Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

Mr. T Punching a Shark in the Face

China... Please Stop Trying to Kill Us!

Last month (January 2010) there were a slew of dangerous products recalled by the US Consumer Products Safety Commission, all of these items were produced in China. Because I care deeply about the safety and well being of you and yours, here is the rundown of things China is using to try and kill us, so avoid them!

1. Starbucks Glass Water Bottles: Basically these things are just shattering for no apparent reason, and also when the stop is taken out. There have been hand and mouth lacerations.

2. Zippo Candle Lighter: Sold at Bath and Body Works, when flame size is adjusted the thing goes crazy, melting itself and burning you alive.

3. Cybex Strollers: Sold at Target stores, there is a hinge mechanism that poses a finger amputation/laceration threat. (It's cutting off baby fingers!)

4. Night Hawk Radio Controlled Helicopter: Sold at Radio Shack, there have been reports of these lil' babies over-heating and causing burns, also the propeller has spun out of the device injuring peoples peepers (eyes).

5. Nature's Wonders Toy Horse Set: Sold at Wal-Mart, these toys contain excessive levels of lead based paint, kids put these things in thier mouths and stuff, kids get sick. :(

WTF China, your passive aggressive attempt at killing us and our children has not gone unnoticed. I am boycotting Chinese food for this whole month of February, also I'm going to attempt to not buy anything made in China... This may be difficult.

Phone Blog Post Test, Be Careful

I spend so much time on my "phone", (I put it in "quotes", because I've come to the realization that it's more like my 2nd penis, than a "phone") that I really should try and find a way to post from him. I can't believe I almost left him in a cab last night. What a f*cking nightmare that would have been, sweet cheesus! Anyway, I'm hoping this works okay, this is the BlogPressLite app, if this goes well I'll probably even buy the full version. Here's a photo of a chubby metal kid, hang in there lil' buddy, hang in there. Please don't auto-erotic exphixiate (no way that's spelled right) yourself.