Oldie but Goodie...

Pee-Pee, Poo-Poo, Wieners and Butts... Boobs... How fuckin' cool is this kid?

Computer Death Site 5000: July 2009

Good Morning! I hope you had a chance to enjoy last month's website, "Explosions and Boobs". For July's website I decided to go with "Scanwiches" this place is delicious... Are websites places? I think they are. Basically, this photo blog documents cross-section scans of delicious sandwiches, they tell you where its from and whats in it. This is another example of how "less is more" when it comes to developing a magnificent website. Pictured above you'll find a sandwich from Urban Rustic it's made up of: Prosciutto, Avocado, Basil, Pesto, Mozzarella, on a Baguette. I'd better shake a leg if I'm gonna have 31 posts this month, huh?

SCANWICHES>

Coming Soon: Zombieland

It may seem a bit cliche, but, I love me some zombies y'all! This shit looks pretty phresh (phresh - street slang for interesting, cool or aesthetically pleasing). Here is the trailer:

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-07d

Another bike ride picture, I found this lake off a little muddied up trail I was jamming on, there was a little floating dock you can walk out to, but it was totally overgrown. I took this as fast as I could because I was literally getting raped by mosquitoes... that's right, literally... go ahead picture that little nugget in your head computers.

SIDENOTE... Si-Dino-Tee (That movie Sideways, made Pinot Noir cool to drink... this is not the "Sidenote".)

This month (July) I'm going to break my posting record for the month, having at least one post for each day. I'm on track right now and I'll probably exceed that number... What else? Oh, I also rode past a convent or whatever you call "the nunnery" and I got to thinking; Do women, in America still consider this a path in their life plan? Hmmm, probably , I bet there are even a few hot ones, all I need to do is infiltrate their convent and take 15 minutes to explain that organized religion is a bullshit theory based on human insecurity and the fear of not being able to understand our origins and purpose in this life... Flash to 30 minutes later and I'm banging away on an ex-nun, this is gonna be sweet.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-07c

Cruising around in the wee hours Wednesday evening on my bike, basically exploring creepy paths and areas at night... Places I can dispose of things that need disposin'. Spent a minute checking out the Old Mill on York Rd. it was pretty neat, but the water levels were really low so it wasn't moving, I'm not sure it really functions at all any more, it might just be something that is turned on during the day. At certain times last night I was almost certain that I'd be attacked by something on one of these wooded pitch black trails, I keep looking behind me and shit, I'm glad I have lights on my bike now, but I'm also afraid it could attract some type of demon spirit creature in the woods who otherwise may not have seen me... This is a legitmate concern for me.

UPDATE!!
After further investigation of The Old Mill Pic, that's what the "team" (...it's just me) is calling it here at CDS5K, you can actually see a DSC staking me as I took the photo, chilling! This is quickly turning into a Scooby-Doo epi, good day!

A Sweet Video & Song...

..From The Dead Pirates, a band that is not shit...

Five-Dollar $hit Bands!

Last night I was washing my testicles in my kitchen sink after a Flavor-Ice incident that I don't want to talk about. But, as I was doing this I heard something from the other room on the television and I'm pretty sure it was telling me that if I purchase a "5 dollar footlong" from Subway, I'll have the opportunity to see some pretty amazing bands this summer also for the low price of $5. This is super cheap, especially since one of the bands is NICKLEBACK!!... Wait who? Nickleback? Oh. No thank you subway, sweet Jesus fucking' Christ... No thank you. How do you decide the bands for this promotion? It's actually pretty simple, LiveNation peeps were probably looking at bands like Nickleback, The Fray and Motley Crue thinking to themselves, "Wow! How the fuck are we gonna sell these?", "Mmm, this BMT is sooo good!", "Five...Five...Five dollar foooootloooong." "Oh Fuck Me! That's it!"

Thoughts on a Movie No.7

Mmm, yup, that's what I'm talking about! I saw a really cool movie tonight at the theater, and I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but this movie may end up being a favorite of mine, possibly FOREVER, or at least until we get Andrew McCarthy and Jonathon Silverman back together for another Weekend at Bernie's installment. There hasn't been a lot of press for the movie Moon, I think that's good though for the viewer, because I really didn't have much of an idea of what it was about, aside from some shit about the Moon. Sam Rockwell plays an astronaut working on a lunar base alone for a 3 year stint, his only companion is a helpful robot named GERTY (voice of Kevin Spacey). For me it was awesome, but I'm a big fan of 2001, and space shit like that so, it makes sense that I have a massive space b*ner about Moon. Basically, earthlings have found a new fuel source on the moon (helium-3) and Sam's (also his character's name) responsibility is to harvest the fuel source and rocket the surplus back to Earth from time to time. He is two weeks away from his return back to Earth after a long and lonely 3 years on the dark side of the Moon. Now, towards the end of his contract up there, a whole bunch of craziness and mindfuckery begins to happen. I really don't want to give anything else away, you should see this movie for sure, don't even watch the trailer or anything, just go and see it as soon as you can... Or I'm gonna come to your home, while you're sleeping, kill you and steal life force, you have two weeks... two weeks.

Without a doubt I'm putting this at a 5 out of 5, that's the first movie I've given full on love to, in fact, I loved it so much, I wanna take IT to the movies and maybe get it a little drunk on wine and fool around with it a little. I hope I haven't built it up to much for you, and I really do think you should go see it, if you like this kind of stuff, that is. You know what? Nevermind, you don't deserve this... You don't deserve anything, this movie is too good for you.

Computer Death Quesadilla 5000

I was thinking about promoting CDS5K and being the marketing genius that I am, I thought, what do people want?... What do people need?... The answer; Quesadillas motherfuckers... Quesadillas. From now on I made a promise to myself to give out 25 of these bad boys a day in hopes to spread CDS5K across the world. Also, I'm moving to Canada pretty soon, so that's exciting... I guess. Cancel that buddy, I am in fact, not moving to Canada, I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry for lying to you. In other news, I've started hanging out at truck stops and prostituting myself out.

Chilling Last Words No.1

"Go Raiders!"

—Robert Charles Comer, executed in Arizona on May 22, 2007