I Tried This One Time...

My experience with this idea is conveyed in this little thing below that I made a while back. You can click to enlarge, you piece of garbage.

Psycho Killer

Nightmare Fuel

Things People I Like Say on Twitter

The Big Picture...

The Big Ben clock tower is seen through the broken window of a damaged telephone box the morning after a protest in Westminster, in central London December 10, 2010.

The Big Picture...

Police officers in riot wear contain student protesters on Westminster Bridge on December 9, 2010 in London, England.

Oooover It! (Flamboyantly)

I don't know who the hell still get's a kick out of the idea that we flavor unlikely condiments and beverages after bacon. Apparently I do because I'm putting it on CDS5K. Here is the latest addition. But, for the record, I'm still over the idea of baconizing everything.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-12/10b

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-12/10a

The Fancy Hangover

Surnames...

I was just thinking about changing my last name, actually just shortening it a little bit. We live in a technologically driven world with short attention spans and a necessity for brevity. Plus, at some point in my family lineage it was basically determined by someone anyway. Furthermore, how many times had it changed since as a human race we were able to cognitively determine a label for our families? How many times has it changed since then? I'll just be the asshole who does it this time, and who knows how long it will be before it will be changed again? But, for that time I will hold this mystical power!!!!!

Bears.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-11/10e

Stranger leaving subway.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-11/10d

Bendable light source that the crotch welcomes: part 3, the search for Curly's gold.

The Big Picture...

Blood and bullet holes are seen on a car door after an unidentified man was murdered in Tijuana, northern Mexico.

Breaking Through...

I don't know too much about this book, my dad never read it to me. But if he had maybe I would have been gay.

via

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-11/10c

Tuna Party in the Future

Motivational Poster

See ideas like this are the reason I'll blurt out things like, "I think I'm going to start carrying a gun, like everywhere I go!" Because, no one is to be trusted, everyone is out to get you and you're barely in the grouping for an average penis size as an American male. Click to enlarge... not you're penis... Okay, Okay, I just Wiki'ed it, you're safely in the average length grouping, maybe on the plus even!! My advice is to stop watching so much porn with black dudes in it.

Stephen King Poster Re-Dos!

These are really cool eh? I'm a fan of the writer who goes by the name Stephen King whose horror stories are often adapted for TV and Movies! The simplicity behind the posters is what really make them work for me (get my motor going, boners, etc). Iconic imagery mixed with sharp and simple communicable execution = Graphic Design 101, good job whoever you are who made these... you're doing just fine sir! You may click on the image above so that you can see it better. Thanks!

Best Served by Huge Whale...

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-11/10b

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-11/10a

Zombie Tyson Gif

Daily Inspiration

The theme for this first "Daily Inspiration" post is to get dirty this fall.

Abandoned Six Flags

This is the type of thing that is right in my wheelhouse, I love post apocalyptic settings in movies and TV, not so sure I'd care too much for it as a reality but who knows. There's something about spaces once filled with people, created by people only to be a remnant or whisper of what was once there. A while back I photographed an abandoned water park by my house and this might be too much information, but I think I had an erection the entire time. Anyway enjoy the embedded video, this Six Flags was closed before Hurricane Katrina and hasn't opened back up yet... and won't. Also if your not watching The Walking Dead on AMC you should be Sunday nights!

Weakness... But lets tweak this!

October was a very slow blog month for me, so slow in fact that the only thing I felt I should share with the hundreds of thousands of CDS5K followers was a gay ass light painted Dodge Challenger (see post below). I'm keeping a positive attitude about CDS5K and want to reassure you that we aren't going anywhere. I promise you that! I will strive to bring you the best in internet and randomness of mi vida loca... I guess it's really not that crazy, I mean I never killed anyone or anything, I may or may not have driven a car drunk, high on cocaine and in possession of a "stolen" (borrowed) UNLOADED handgun, but those were some dark days.

Speaking of Mi Vida Loca er Mi Vido Loco? I'd like to share this documentary that I am watching right now on my netflix instant called "The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia". It's basically about this crazy fuckin hillbilly family named the Whites who are just generally awesome and love fucking shit up! HA!! There was just a scene where this one chick and her friend do coke in the hospital the day after she gives birth to her daughter! (You'll be relieved to know that when she returns to the hospital to get her baby she finds that she has been taken into custody by DCFS) See this god damned documentary ASAP!

Light Painted Challenger

RaaaaR!

Thoughts on a Movie No.16

I heard about this movie from the comedy troop (I hate saying it that way, “troop”), Derrick Comedy. It’s about three (mentally underdeveloped) late-teenaged friends who still operate and run the neighborhood’s “Mystery Team”, they basically solve small time crimes. The first in the film, for example is to find out who stuck their fingers in Mrs. Brook’s pie while it was cooling in the window sill. It gets pretty serious and fun when they are meet with their biggest case yet, a double murder of the parents of a cute little neighborhood girl. In all honesty, I did’t think I was all that thrilled about it the first time, but after giving it another watch and my full attention. I think “love” is what you call my feelings about “Mystery Team... love. The story is so well written and it’s like a dark adaptation of something you might see Saturday morning when you were 8. The main actors you would recognize are basically all the mid-late twenties kids that are running network television right now. Cast credits include SNL, the Office, Community, 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation. This movie is hilarious and gets funnier every time I watch it which is already 3.

Total CDS5K points as determined by the judges... 4.3 out of 5

Quote of the Movie:
“Looks like we’ve got a long night of cocaine ahead of us.”
-Duncan, while on an undercover sting in a drug dealers house, during the investigation.

Scariest Wave Ever?

So, it's probably pretty clear that I am just dicking around on the internet today. Here is another thing I happened upon, I seriously think it might be the scariest wave I've ever seen. Maybe the one from Deep Impact is a little scarier but this is close. As always you may click it to enlarge this mother.

Sweet Reptile Gif

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-09/10b

Our city, she is pretty, until the winter time, then she is an unfortunate looking whore :(

1000fps BMX

I always hated BMXers, they were always in the way. But this is beautifully shot.

Tweet of the Week!

I think this is Sarah Silverman's BF BTW... OMG

Cell Phone Screen Cap

Hey Best Buy, how bout you totally fuck off?

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-09/10a

This was really good putting it into my face and eating it! You know what else is good to put in your face? A CDS5K blog post so eat it!

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-08/10f

As you know I am deeply entrenched in the international drug trade and I go by Make-O. These are some drugs I am shipping.

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-08/10e

My version of G.T.L. is just T.... maybe with a lil' bit of W thrown in there to help me think!

Computer Death Site (blog) 5000

I've always been fascinated with skulls, long before they became a bedazzled favorite of Guidos and MMA fans (see Ed Hardy, Affliction etc.). There is a nice blog I came upon called "Skull A Day", in which there is a new variation on the visual manifestation of a face maker each bleesed day. It's worth a peek, so take a look. The half-assing continues...

Skull A Day>

KOBRA... (in) HUNGARIAN.

In an attempt to put at least something up here everyday, or as often as I can. Here is the cover of a Hungarian comic book adaptation of the Sylvester Stallone movie Cobra (it's Kobra in Hungary I guess). I haven't seen this movie in a real long time, like I was a lil' kid, but I think it taught me about sexual deviance and it was probably one of my earliest memories of the idea of a psycho killer and how that could be a circumstantially "Fun" thing.

These are fun...

I rather like these painting onto game counsel pieces, got "The Bastard Bros." here on an old Nintendo Entertainment System, Electrified Blanka on a Super NES and I guess Dr. Eggman ( I never knew his name) on a SEGA!

click to enlarge

Tweet of the Week!

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-08/10d

Evil Droid Stalks Near the Underpass

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-08/10c

Where is my Totem?!

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-08/10b

Cliff Diving? Flip-Flop Diving?

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-08/10a

Chicago Botanical Gardens... Just two hetero dudes walking around, looking at flowers and waterfalls.

Thoughts on a Movie No.15

I did it, I waited until 12:01 a.m. Friday morning to see the first screening of Piranha 3D, this movie has been on my radar for a loooong time. It was by no means a "perfect" movie (like The Expendables), but it was so fucking entertaining, it might be close (in my mind). This contains spoilers, so don't read if you care about that.

The film opens on Matt Hooper (Richard Dryfuss playing the same character he did in Jaws) fishing in a secluded area of a lake, the song playing on the radio is the one that Brody, Quint and Hooper were drunkenly singing below deck in Jaws. Right off the bat you pay homage to my favorite movie of all time, I'm on the cusp of sexual arousal... There is a seismic event below the surface and it creates a crazy whirlpool topside that Hooper is now caught in. As he is being sucked in, thousands of terrifying prehistoric piranhas are rushing upward towards a fresh meal. Yadda yadda, Hooper struggles to get the outboard motor started, falls in and is devoured in a truly gruesome manner. Boom, "Piranha 3D" bursts onto the screen, and I'm as happy as I can remember being for at least a decade. The setting is Lake Havasu during spring break with an an overwhelming amount of techno music, tits, ass, juiced pecs and crooked visors. Elisabeth Shue plays Julie Forester, the no shit taking town sheriff, single mother of two adorable Aryan children and one mildly angsty 19 year old with a heart of gold. After discovering Hooper's mangled body in some brush she knows something is terribly wrong. A team from the USGS (US Geological Survey) has been dispatched to investigate the seismic event that's taken place here. Sheriff Forester takes them out to the epicenter where they send a team of divers to check out the new underwater caverns that have opened. All of the divers, save one, Novak (played by Adam Scott) are murdered to fuck by theses lil' monsters. Right away, they head to the party cove where all the co-eds are, to evacuate the water. Obviously, no one takes them seriously, until all hell breaks loose and leaves the cove devastated in what might be one of the bloodiest scenes in movie history. Forester (Shue) receives a distress call from her son who was supposed to have been baby-sitting the Aryans, but instead took them along to guide a charter boat in the pursuit of an old high school flame. Now they find themselves stuck in a dangerous rocky cove slowly sinking into certain horrible death. That's enough story, you get the picture. The action in Piranha 3D is a fast, gore driven, ridiculous blood orgy that at times hard to watch.

I did have a couple of minor problems with the experience that really put me into a nerd rage. No. 1: This was a 3D movie, the first trailer was for another 3D movie and rightfully it was in 3D. There were 3 more trailers, all for other 3D movies that were not in 3D even though every aspect of the trailer was begging to been seen as such. No. 2: I'd say this is a spoiler but since it's in the fucking trailer I guess I don't have to. If you are familiar with the trailer you'd know that there is a scene where Novak say's something like "Wait, if those are the babies, then where are their parents?" right after that a huge piranha takes his ass out... This was the last scene of the fucking movie... You can't do that! you can't roll credits right after something happens that happened at the end of the trailer. I don't know, that made me a little angry but not angry enough to ruin my experience, because it was super fun!

Giving it a 3.75 out of 5

Quote of the Movie:
"WeeeEEeet (blood-gargle) t-ShiiirRts... (blood cough) WEEEeeeet TeeeeEe Shiiiii (blood gargle, then death)"
-Jerry O'Connell as Derrick Jones, (basically Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild) mutters this line as nothing more than a bloody torso

Playcreation Corner No. 2

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The Broken Window Fallacy

This is a nice little breakdown...

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-07/10h

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I was getting in my car today and I thought to myself, "Wow, that's really pretty kinda." I'm gonna take a picture of that stuff. Have a nice Saturday internet, don't get too drunk and have an emotional breakdown... I love you.

Spooky Cheese

Too Cool to Title No. 2

Playcreation Corner No. 1

Giant radioactive Nicholas Cage takes over a post-apocalyptic nuclear winterized Chicago while an African warlord acts as our protector... that's what we're calling this piece.

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Masthead - 07/29/10

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CDS5K - Propaganda 20Xa

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WWDDD? No. 3

No catchy tag lines, no professional athletes or rock stars. Just a man making some kind of cryptic chart on his new Apple II. Meanwhile his wife forces a smile as she try's to push the thought of killing her husband out of her mind. This is what you call Advertising.