Bearsharktopus

These things are everywhere! I had to fight two of them just getting from the parking garage to the office. Here are a couple of things to remember if you should encounter a Bearsharktopus. 1. DO NOT make any sudden movements, stay calm and draw them in to make your kill. 2. These things are devastatingly terrified of shiny things, if you have something shiny, use it, or lose it! 3. If one is too close to you and you can't scare it away, avoid the tentacles and sweep the leg. These creatures are very top heavy and if you get one down 2/3 of the battle is completed. 4. Once this bitch is down strike it in the nose with a blunt object or a closed fist. You can also, try and rip at his land gills, or just straight up kick him right in the Golden Girls (testes). 5. After you have concurred the beast, I suggest you call your local taxidermist, because this is definitely a specimen you want to make love on in front of a fireplace.

New Title Bar Possibility

More CDS Propaganda

click to enlarge

No Cuts, No Butts, No Coconuts

Get your learn on you sons of bitches > Salvation

Futura is a great typeface!

F U... buddy.

MonsterFACE!

MaruBot Robot Football

Foosball is pretty darn fun, I don't really have the opportunity to play it often anymore because I no longer smoke weed or share residence with a bunch of date-raping frat boys. Anytime I have the opportunity to "Foos it up" (mmmm-douche, I'm a douce), I certainly will. On Gizmodo today I saw a wonderous looking maching called MaruBot Robot Football. Basically it seems to be a cross between Foosball and Bubble Hockey... but with sweet-ass little robots you can control with a joy-stick. It definately looks like it could be fun and I never want to be the kind of person who scoffs at reimagining classic stoner games that require no athletic prowess. BUT at the risk of sounding like a broken record, I've spoke openly about my hatred and fear of robots. It's small advancements like this seemingly innocent robot football game that will drive the stake into the heart of humanity, be warned y'all... the end is nigh. Just stop building robots! Seriously, it never ends well, knock it off Japan... knock it off... If you want you could still make those sex robot things that look like John Stamos, that's okay by me.

Post-It Doodles No. 5

Well No.6 if you count the pile of shit with shades on, anyway here's a neato Dia de los Muertos sugar skull:

Thoughts on a Movie No. 9

For Thoughts on a Movie No. 9, I'll be talking about the movie "9", which I saw last night in the theater. If you're unfamiliar with "9", it's an animated picture story about a post-apocalyptic distopia in which the only "life" remaining is creepy doll-headed cobra robots and cute-ish little burlap sack people with aperture eyes. The general story is really nothing new; man goes to war, man makes war machine, war machine turns on man and kills everyone, few remain and struggle to rebuild civilization upon destroying the evil machines. The thing made this movie especially entertaining to me was the visual effects and art direction... Well, there was a pretty intense sex scene at the beginning of the third act, in which the sack people go to town on the rotting corpse of their creator. Getting back to the visual styles of the film, the sack people are not proportionally to scale with humans, I'd say they would be somewhere around 8"-12" tall, so the miniature world that is created for them, by them (FTBT), was pretty great. Being a devout Christian I did take issue with the lack of Christianity portrayed in the movie and the Sack people's dangerous tinkering within the Occult. It became quite clear to me that the makers of this film were definitely Devil worshipers and certainly no friend of my old pal Jesus Christ. It's a minor let down for me now because I can't help but wonder how much better this movie would've been if it was written by a Christian, like myself who has a short fiction writing class from a community college under his belt.

This movie was really fun and visually awesome, if you don't see it in the theater some of the visual "pop" will be lost. So this little guy is gonna be a 4 outta 5. Now if you'll excuse me I'm parked in a red zone inside of my brain and the sandman is a comin', clear the way or be lost in subconscious limbo for all eternity.

p.s.
Breakfast Hot Pockets are full size now, not sure when the made the switch, because the breakfast HPs used to be 4 small HPs instead of 2 larger HPs like they make for the other lunch/dinner varieties. I myself, just recently enjoyed a Applewood Bacon, Egg & Low Fat Cheese Lean Pocket.

Beating a Dead Horse

I really don't want to revisit this anymore that it already has been, but I figured I should comment on the rapper who helped push the "blipster style" in hip-hop, so here it is:

Ready for "Blood Orgy 2009"

Hi! This is what I would look like if I was going to one of those awesome "Black-Eyed Blood Sex Parties" like on tha Trueblood:

Celebrity Tweet of the Week No.3

This weeks "tweet of the week" comes from Sarah Silverman, from "The Sarah Silverman Show"... I wish I was that little Mexican dog.

@sarahksilverman If you ask me, I think that the date rape pill does more harm than good. 2:28 AM Sept. 12 from twittelator

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-09d

Anyone with the God given luxury of reading this blog probably knows me, and knows that I'm a God-Damned American gentleman. This is what a God-Damned American gentleman eats for breakfast, and coincidentally it's called The God-Damned American Breakfast. Eat it up, drink it down and don't forget to say your prayers and take your vitamins!

Post-It Doodles No. 4

Here is me green post-it doodle from yesterday, Some new kick ass content is coming pretty soon, so hang in there.

Post-It Doodles No. 3

Sometimes I make doodles on green Post-its:

09/09/09

I like when days like today happen, from a numerological stand point it seems significant, even if it's nothing more than an opportunity to build anticipation for product and film releases. That said, I have already purchased The Beatles RockBand game and my tickets to see the animated movie "9" tonight. There was something a little unsettling to me this morning when I fired up "the internet". I learned that the next time we see a matching single digit 3 number date will not be until Jan. 1st 2101, so now I'm feeling a little said for not playing Lottery numbers or getting married on these dates that have passed over the last decade... Because we will all be at that big Karate Tournament in the sky, and our planet will probably look a lot like the picture above. So I'd like to encourage people to "9-9-9 it up"! There is always 10/10/10...11/11/11... & 12/12/12 I guess.

Celebrity "Tweet of the Week" No.2

This weeks "tweet of the week" comes from Michael Ian Black, I don't think i need to tell you who he is. BUT if you don't know him he plays Morgan Freeman's character in 'Dark Knight'... right? I don't fuckin' know anymore.. I really don't.

@michaelianblack Word I just invented for a huge orgy: pornado. 10:24AM Sept. 2 from Web

Cell Phone Pic - CDS5K-09a-c

Car Washes are great places to provide cover for short-term shady business. Here are some things you can do while getting a car wash: Drugs & Alcohol, Sexual Acts, Hit your Girlfriend/Wife/Kids/Grandparent, Freak Out, Kill Yourself... and many more.