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All this talk about Potstickers and Bao Buns, I went and got some chinese food for lunch. BBQ Pork Egg Foo Young... It was awesome, but the pork was like bright magenta (like food coloring or something).

Asian Hot Pockets

Here's a fun idea I had for Hot Pockets, where you can have a product that would tackle more of an international flavor. Everyone wants a Hot Pocket that they can culturally identify with. They already have Mexico, Italy and France (Croissant) covered, these new products could cover some of the Asian inspired dishes. I've been thinking about this for a while and I originally thought "Steamy Satchels" was the way to go but "Satchel", though a funny word in it's own right, is not the proper fit here. So, I made these comps of what the packaging could look like... I had limited photographic resources for these so I have to work with what I could find up in that flickr!

T&L = Metromix Celebs

Tomas sent out a text yesterday with the reservation info for NYE. Because the restaurant had no website I checked it out on Metromix, and what's the first thing I see? Tomas & Laura enjoying a nice meal on the restaurant's page, haha! I just thought it was funny. Their faces have been covered due to their high profile government jobs and for general mystique.

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Maybe it's all this Jersey Shore stuff I've been obsessing about or just that fact that pizza is the best food on the planet (in a few cities anyway). I have been having a lot of pizza parties lately and last night was no exception. An added bonus is the timeless pizza box design that we've all seen so many times, I love it and am thinking about doing a similar Lithuanian style back piece next time I get in the tattoo chair... no, no maybe not.

My East Coast Pizza Franchise

I think I'm gonna start bringing these out to the Middle East of America, probably Chicagoland area. We've had success on the J-Shore for the last 35 years. You may print out the coupon for "$21 Pizza Bucks", redeemable at all "Mikeyangelo's Famous".

Bacon Triptych - Botched Terrorist Plot

Hey, I hope everyone had a nice holiday, I've downloaded a few iPhone apps that could help to spice up some of the photography I put up here. Since I have been cameraless since Tomas' wedding back in June I have to rely on my iPhone for pics, but its not so bad right? It's not like I'm trying to blow up a plane of men, women and children on Christmas. Actually, I'm gonna call conspiracy on this little nugget. Christmas morning at my parents house, I was poking around on twitter enjoying a Bailey's & coffee waiting for guests to arrive, when I saw CNN tweeted something about firecrackers being lit on a plane from Amsterdam to Detroit. What a hilarious and creative joke! I thought. But, when I woke up this morning and popped on WGN, they were saying it was a malfunctioning explosive device that caused the firecracker noise. There just hasn't been a reason for us to be afraid of domestic terrorism lately and this was a little punch-up. Thanks! I hope you enjoyed looking at the bacon pics as much as I enjoyed eating it. (also, in case you don't know, you can click the image to enlarge it.)

Computer Death Tattoo No. 2

Dolphins are basically the slackers of the Sea, and this piece does a nice job of conveying that on some gentleman's arm. Just look at this piece of shit, sprawled out on his La-Z-Boy, smoking what I can only imagine is a water tube pipe for taking pot, eating a microwave burrito. Dolphins of the world, take note, if I ever see any of you in my neighborhood... EVER! I will shot you dead where you stand.

Ripping Off Yourself - By: Men's Health

The really shitty thing is that I've been following Jason Statham's Ultimate Cardio Plan from 2007. Now it look's like Werewolf New Moon guy has the Ultimate Cardio Plan. I'm just gonna stick to my prison style workout, pull-ups, push-ups, dips and cigarettes.

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I like cheeseburgers, I like everything bagels, so we (myself and my other internal entities) participated in a "Bagel Burger Party" last night before we watched J-Shore. It was so much fun, got a little crazy when we put parm chee on it but we don't give a fuck.... I had sex with a cheeseburger last night :(

Super Top Secret Starbucks Sub-brand!!!

Hello, here's an inside look at a new sub-brand that I've developed for Starbucks. It is being marketed towards the Action Sports / Porn Production Crew / Native American contingent, which as we know is basically one in the same. I've been doing a lot of energy drink talk last couple of days but that shit is for kids... and I'm an adult... an adult that doesn't play by the rules though... that's why I drink starbuX coffee, "A StarbuXtreme Beverage!" (click to enlarge)

Identity:

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Computer Death Tattoo No.1

There are a lot of Awesome Tattoo's out there, and I believe CDS5k can act as a crazy futuristic portal to beam them into your peepin' holes (eyeballs). This is a new short column I'll be posting to for this reason. We live in a culture where just about everyone has tattoo's, some shitty, some awesome.... AWESOME!

Energy Drink Review - 12/16/09

Monster M-80 Energy+Juice (Yellow "M"):
The Monster brand of energy beverages has been the brand I've cultivated the strongest loyalty towards. My usual choice would be the Monster Lo-Carb (Lt. Blue "M"), after a while though, I decided this flavor tasted like a combination of cotton candy and piss. Where the real jam lies in the Monster brand is its "Energy+Juice" variations, these contain a ratio of "80% juice/100% Monster"... I'm no scientist, but not sure that works out right. Regardless of the fundamental misunderstanding of percentages, these are probably my favorite type of energy beverage. This morning I enjoyed the Yellow "M", which tastes a lot like a carbonated pineapple juice. They also make an Orange "M", that has a strong orange flavor, very close to those "Daily-C" vitamin C tablet things. The only downside is the calorie content which is 180 cal per 16oz., it also contains 100% of your daily C, B2, B3, B6, B12 vitamins.

In the Energy Beverage Game (My Game) both flavors get 5 out of 5.

WTF Blogger / iPhone?!? (UPDATED)

It has come to my attention that CDS5K is not working properly on the iPhone. I don't know WTF is going on because it has always been fine since I've had mine! But alas, it's all fucked up now. Sorry for the inconvenience, I sent an e-mail to the help desk at Blogger hoping someone will get back to me soon. In the meantime CDS5K still works fine on regular computers and such, so just have a look there until I get this ironed out.

UPDATE
I had just left my office yesterday and got an email from the forums, that just showed the question I had asked. I pulled up CDS5K on Chauncey (my iPhone) and it was back to normal operation. Thank you blogger staff for doing whatever it is you did! If you guys send me your address/social/acct #/routing #/mother's maiden name, you can get in on helping this Nigerian Prince allocate some of his assets to the states. He seemed really nice so...

Energy Drink Review - 12/15/09

Amp Energy with Green Tea:
I tried this energy beverage on a whim, basically because I was attracted to the packaging. After pouring it into my face a couple of times I couldn't figure out why I liked it so much, and today I figured it out, it's ginger ale with energy. This is actually a pretty good approach to the energy beverage, some of the flavors they've been putting out recently have been chemical, for lack of a better word. Amp Energy with Green Tea however, has a classic flavor that you will recognize and enjoy, followed by the burst of energy you need to get through your day. This maybe the first energy beverage that can be tolerated with a whiskey, I'm thinking Canadian, or Irish specifically.

I'll give this Energy Beverage a 4.5 out of 5

Snookie Gets Snooked!

After the 2 hour premiere and last weeks episode I am not disappointed. Above is a clip of "Snookie" getting cold-cocked by some maniac. CDS5k in no way condones violence against women or of any kind actually. I was shocked when I saw this, I almost couldn't believe it when I saw it but, it happened I guess. If nothing else this will act as a warning that the closest you ever want to get to the Jersey Shore is via MTV and from the comfort of your living room.

UPDATE:
I just read that MTV has chosen not to show this clip during this weeks episode, because Domino's and some other big name advertisers didn't want their spots to air with this kinda shit happening. MTV will cover what actually happened in the episode tho. basically some bullshit like that dude stole drinks of theirs off the bar, little "Snookie" thought it would be a good idea to get up in his face about it.

Masthead No. 3

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So just to be clear... No diapers, razor blades, bars of soap, severed hands, origami, pee test beakers, solo cups, tampons or large black bottles. Everything else I guess is fair game.

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The Alamo, it was free to go inside, no basement.

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Part of the Riverwalk in San Antonio.

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Some Koi or maybe just big ole goldfish.

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Morning time from hotel in San Antonio, TE-HAAS!

We Be Dumb Y'all No.1

Here is an ad for a gourmet market in Istanbul, like with all photos you may click to enlarge and see the detail.

CDS5k 2009 Podcast Review

In the past year or so I have become Coo Coo for Podcasts (and of course cocaine, I love cocaine). Every day I'm pumping these brilliant shows into my head holes, at work, in my home, at the gymnasium, it's rare to see me without ear buds in. So, I thought I would rank and talk a little bit about each of the shows I listen to on a regular basis. Hopefully you can start to enjoy some of these as well. You can get any of these by just typing the title into the iTunes search in the iTunes store under "podcasts". Here are my top 8 Podcasts of 2009:

8. The Adam Carolla Podcast
This is one of the few podcasts that are put out almost daily, with an average run time of about 45 min. Adam's ability to rant knowledgeably and his general hatred of humanity and minorities (jk) make this show a good listen for me. He has a deep pool of actors, comedians and other random celebs that frequent his show.

7. Comedy and Everything Else
Show consists of Todd Glass, Jimmy Dore and Stephanae Zomorano, all of whom are comedic comedians. C&EE features a combination of political discussion (lead by Dore) along with hilarious juvenile pothead antics (lead by Glass) and long form interview/discussion with well known comedians and actors. This one is good if you've got a lot of time to kill and you fucking hate Glenn Beck, epi's run over 2 hours.

6. Stuff You Should Know
This podcast is brought to you by "How Stuff Works". I just started listening to "SYSK"this week and I'm pretty into it. It's runs about 30 minutes and is very well researched and informative brief on random topics "You Should Know". Some of the topics I've listened to last week were: Jack the Ripper, Future Crime Solving, Are Zombies Real, and Are Nazi War Criminals Around. These are the topics that interested me, but there are tons of episodes up, like 135 or something like that. I can't remember the host's names because I'm new to this one.

5. Comedy Death Ray Radio
Hosted by comedy writer Scott Aukerman (Mr. Show and Run Ronnie Run), show combines radio comedy shtick and comedy songs. I usually fast forward through the songs to get back to the delightful banter. Aukerman is hilarious, so are his guests, this show runs about 1 hour.

4. Uhh Yeah Dude
"UYD" was created by two American Americans by the names of Seth Romatelli and Jonathan Laraquette (Son of the actor by the same name). The show covers all things pop culture and shows a general distain for the direction we are headed as a civilization. It will help you to keep your finger on the pulse of the shit storm that is American pop culture, runs about 1 hour. Seatbelts!

3. I Love Movies
Doug Benson does this show live from the UCB theater in LA and beams this awesome show back into our internets. Doug fucking loves movies and I fucking love movies, so I love this podcast. Great guests contribute in a panel style discussion. I really like the "Leonard Malton Game" and 'Build a Title". Also I just saw Doug Benson and Graham Ellwood at the Lakeshore Theater in Chicago last night and it was great!

2. Jordan, Jesse, Go!
Show is hosted by Jesse Thorne (America's Radio Sweatheart) and Jordan Morris (Boy Detective). Jesse Thorne also hosts a show on NPR called "The Sound of Young America" and Jordan Morris hosts and produces a show on Fuel TV. This is another very funny one, again, with this show, always a really good guest and stimulating, often low-brow comedy, which I'm on board with. runs about 1 hour 30 min.

1. Never Not Funny
Hosted by Jimmy Pardo and co-host Matt Belknap, this is the "vanguard of comedy podcasts" to use a phrase of Pardo's. James has a long career of stand-up comedy under his belt, and hails from the Chicagoland area, like myself and most of you dummies who read this blog. Runs about 1 hour 30 min. Unfortunately this one is not free, it's $20 a season (26 epi's per), but also features a video feed for another $10. But, it is the BEST podcast out there so... You can however listen to the first 25 minutes of each epi for free on iTunes first to decide if you think you like it or not.

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Beware of Unicorns

Hey Gang! I was doing a little Flickr photo recon for a personal design project involving some unicorns and stuff like that. Below is a beautifully executed illustration portraying the monstrous nature of the horned creature. After checking out this person's Flickr page I found a whole lot of really great stuff. So have a looksie over herezie > Mathiole

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1 Million White Tigers

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Polo Shirts & What They Mean

In the world of polo shirts, it's all about the embroidered symbol over the left breast, this symbol speaks volumes about the person who is wearing it. Maybe it's a man on a horse playing polo (making you a classically trained pianist), an alligator (making you a cold blooded killing machine), a tiger (making you a delicious piece of pizza pie) or finally a penguin (making you a winged, good swimmer). Below you'll find a polo shirt with an embroidered symbol making you just plain old awesome. You can purchase this from Dom's of Hollywood for the reasonable price of $24.95. I probably wouldn't wear it because I'm a gentleman but if you want it go HERE.

Grilled Cheese Party - TBA

click to enlarge (if you cannot read, thanks...a lot!)

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Santa Monica Pier @ dusk.

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Crabs just Crabbin' around!

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This I believe was an old arcade... The fucking BEST old arcade on Redondo Beach Pier.

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Awesome view off balcony of a restaurant that I ate at in SoCal. I saw a whale blow his blowhole in the distance so that was nice. I still am on the Japanese whalers side though.

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Burger King beverage pairing suggestions, that's the fucking classy vibe I expect, well done assholes.

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Here's example no.2 of Monster diversification. I was hesitant to drink this but it worked out okay. I was reading the back of the can and I had to re-read it like three times to believe it, but it claims to use actual Nitrous Oxide in the... uhm bubbling process I guess, I was gonna say carbonation but that doesn't seem to be the case. There was no WooOOoooHH..WooOOoooHH.. WooOOoooHH.. effect like with the other Nitrous :( This is also delicious but like $3.29

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Some Palm Trees being dicks.

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Here's a photo of me sunning myself by the pool. I really like this pic because it makes my garbage look HUGE!!!

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I went hiking near Palm Springs while in Cali a few times, this is a picture of that. Oh! did you hear how Tiger be doggin' his lady and she tried to kill him!?

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Monster has been diversifying its shitz lately, here is a deliciously energizing example of that. I drank it a while ago but, i think it was like $3.99, that's not a big deal for me tho, because if you read this blog you already know that I'm pretty rich... I'm not sure why it's called "Hammer" tho.

Computer Death Recommendation 5000

So this is not typical of a CDS5K post, normally I would just watch this movie and do a "Thoughts on a Movie" post. However, I am so excited about his movie, I plan on watching tonight, I'm gonna go ahead a recommend that you get it and watch it ASAP. The name of this movie is "Prayer of the Rollerboys" and it stars Corey Haim. Here is the tag line I pulled from imdb: "In the 21st Century, it's gonna take one man and his blades to save the world from another man...and HIS blades." Beyond the tag line and the poster art above, you should need no more motivation to go out and see this. I'll tease it more though, Griffen (Haim) plays the hero in a rollerblading gang of vigilantes in the not to distant future distopian Los Angeles. Okay, now go seek this out watch it immediately!

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I decided to go into work today after a couple of days knocking on death's door with a crazy flu stuff. On my way in I saw this awesome license plate, "just to let you know motha fuckas, I gotz gunz!" the plate reads (if you can't see in pic), "GUNOWNR". Good for you fag!.. even old dudes can be fags, and I don't mean it like a derogatory term towards homosexuals, this guy is just plain old being a fag!

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If you remember from way back to the first month of CDS5K life, I put up my sort of loose recipe for Chilaquiles. This is probably my most favorite breakfast dish on this plane of existance. Another great thing about Chila-KILLAS, is that no two recipes are alike, everyone has their own little spin on it. I got these tasty lil' muthafuckas from a place called Rustico Grill, Their version gave you the choice of a "Rojas o Verde" (I go Verde every time with chilaquiles), refried black beans with crumbled ranchero cheese, two eggs prepared to your liking and finally the option of adding chicken or steak (chicken is pictured above).

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Later at the same show, the stage exploded, sadly killing everyone in the crowd... except us, we survived.

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AFI @ The Riviera

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Here is a picture of a Nun, that I took from behind... WAIT, WAIT, that came out wrong!

Bread Shoes

Freshly baked slippers! I don't know what the deal here is exactly but I WANT a pair... I know that much. I know that I'll do whatever it takes to get a pair... I know that much. I know this is how much they cost: "€22" (whatever that means)... WAIT a minute!! These things are being made by people in the wonderful land of Vilnius, Lithuania! My (ancestors) homeland! Viva Mexico! Kiss it, dirt bags! DA DA DA

Masthead No.2

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I saw this band "Har Mar Superstar" lastnight, it was pretty darn cool. Here's a picture of the singer who was standing on the bar pounding Jager shots throughout this song, and slowly but methodically undressing himself.

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Hamburger Heaven on North Ave.

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It was Halloween weekend and I was watching this show on The Travel Channel (HD, because I'm rich), and they were featuring all the scariest haunted houses across the US of A. Notice the spray painted dick n' balls in the background.