Random shots No.1

I think I will occasionally post some pics from what I've been doin' and some stuff I've seen recently, most of the time it is pretty messed up... but sometimes it's okay, so here's the first suck it muthafuckas!!

If you can't sleep next to a pretty girl... a .38 special a Bennelli Tactical shotgun and a bunch of shotgun shells is a good replacement, for zombies and stuff.

Just bored and made this it's a fireworks skull thingy, I liked it so..

Another random pic of how great I look right after wakin' up

The baddest dog in the world part one...

My sweet-ass Xmas sweater

Little Jacob and his fucking chainsaw, killer dude!

Some bacon I was cutting that looked cool and checkered

The Fam Xmas '08... I'm the wreath in the background

Just watched "30 days of night" again today, crazy fog tonight but pic doesn't do it justice.

The baddest dog in the world part 2.

That's it for now, buenos suertes, and malo suertes.

Xmas Time!!!

I'm gonna start off by apologizing.. But the birth of "Christ", what a fucking joke. You realize the people who wrote this bullshit shat in holes that they dug in the desert with their hands.. and did not have iPhones.. Right? So whatever, you die, and go somewhere... maybe, but I'll bet when you get there and ask for "GOD", they'd be like, "who?!", or, "there's no one here by that name... There is a dude named ZORLOCK tho"... Just saying.. Merry Xmas Y'all.

Just Woke Up AGAIN!!

This how "good" I look when I am woken up by a bunch of pots and pans that just "fell" on the floor of my pantry. It's been a rough night to try and sleep over here. Passed out at about 12:30 am, then I had one of those dreams when you slip and fall and wake up all "What the fuck", actually to be exact I said "Jesus Christ!" Then I got a text from my boss at 12:52? saying something about work tommorrow, because we are supposed to be moving into our new office. Then the pans falling just a bit ago and now I'm up... and a little freaked out. I just put on "Sarah Silverman Program", and writing this, migrated from the couch to my bed. I think maybe I'll draw a little, me and a couple of friends are having a tattoo design contest... mine's gonna have something to do with hotdogs, or novelty food... like a corndog or someting, because that's kinda on my radar right now. Really all I wanna do is sleep, but that hasn't seemed to have been working out so good tonight, bummer! On the brighter side the days are slowly gonna start to get longer so that's good.

More Food I'm Eating Tonight.

These are some tacos, with black beans, chipotle sauce, cheese and chicken. yum. Also if you haven't seen a movie called "The Foot Fist Way", please do yourself a fucking favor and rent it or download it. It's amazingly hilarious, I've watched it like 6 times and it's still funny to me every time I check it. DUDE! the fucking Bears are blowing it! Assholes! I'm gonna blog so hard this week! at least I hope I will. I left my camera at Brad's on Sat. so the pictures might stink for a while. Oh and if you're reading this Brad, I texted you my FedEx acct number so pop that bitch over when you get a chance, thanks love. It's like -7 deg out side right now, I can't take this shit anymore, my fucking car got stuck on a frozen snow bank in my drive way. Took me like a fucking hour to get it out, fortunately my totally cool and helpful neighbor helps me out. Damn these tacos are not bad at all! Ugh, this is rediculous now I'm just eating so I have something to blog about, those nachos from earlier... 1400 calories! dang dude! I have eaten so much tortilla today, literally for every meal, it the poor man's bread. This is Big... 4th and 1 on the 3...we got it...phew.... still gotta get in the end zone tho! alright this does not make for good bloggin'. TD Forte! Okay I'm done!

Avoid Putting This In You...

All hung over and junk from a blaze of glory-ish "Sunday Funday", usually I treat myself to awesome, delicious, fast food when I feel like this. So today I hit up a little TB and was pretty stoked about trying these new "Fully Loaded Nachos" I've been seein' on tha TV. Ultimately, they are not very good, based on appearances, I was like "KaaKooow, these little mothafuckas are gonna be great". They were gross even though I still ate most of it, I felt like I was dying after consuming... so anything that makes you feel like that should not be placed into one's food hole. Oh and the tortilla bowl is terrible, so disgusting. Cruchwrap is where its at, I need to just order what I know I like, it's too dangerous to try new things. The pic below is what it looked like after I was done.

Oh and here is what I had for dinner, I am pretty poor right now so I pretty much have nothing to eat in my kitchen. I made "Turkey Dog and Potato Tacos", they are way better then they look, and they blow the doors off the Nachos I had earlier today. Basically, chopped it up throw it in the Wok added some gairdinara and cheese, and that's it yo. I'll probably eat again before I go to bed, I eat a lot on mondays because, I usually don't eat on the weekends. So when I make more food tonight I'll put up a picture. good bye fer now.

Train Blog No. 1

This is the first entry I'm putting up here via my iPhone, I'm on the train heading to a Xmas sweater party. I've never been to one... A party that is, from what I've heard sometimes they are fun. My main concern is that I've brought enough ball gags for everyone. It's gotten to the point where I simply refuse to get involved in any sexual scenarios with out the involvement of a ball gag. The sweater is pretty great it's a form fitting cadigan with snowmen and candy canes, for pants I'll just be without, after all it is my understanding that this is ultimately a fetish sex party. I'm pretty new to the scene but after watching "eyes wide shut" I was like okay it's go time, this is exactly the type of fucked up awesome shit I was born to do. The next step is "murder parties", or maybe ever "sex murder parties"... I know, I know, walk before you can run right? Just seems like the logical evolution of my leisure activities. For the record, just looking around the train now, pretty sure I can take anyone here.. Also I am drinking... Vodka/fruit punch G2/soda water... It's all I had and I'm trying to take the edge off from last night... Don't judge. Anyway, I'm out for now, gonna eaves drop.. And judge people. Woo Hoo!

Gerald Mathis Pithersworth III

This is the name that I gave my mini chicken that I met today, then later cooked and ate. Gerald was indeed a Cornish hen, but he was also a very good friend, even though I only knew him for about 5 minutes as I was prepping him for the oven. A man of few words he was but, I can be a be a bit of a "Chatty Cathy", so there wasn't much room for awkward silences. When I first took him out after bout 30 minutes, he looked pretty good but when I cut into one of his legs he wasn't quite done yet. I popped him back in for another 30 minutes, and viola he was looking pretty good. In the end Gerald was a very nice and delicious friend... I will continue to personify my food for the foreseeable future. I guess it is Friday, so I should probably go find a place to pour alcohol into my head and continue this vicious cycle known as life. Good night.

"Just Like The Good Ole Days!"

So thanks buddy (for anonymity I won't use your name), you hit me up with this gem today, and you're right, that's what my life (and ours) looked like not all that long ago (sans the mustaches). The late 70's and early 80's were nuts brah! I really don't know what else to say about this except... it's awesome... so is blow... so are boobs... and so are mustaches... good day! Hmmm, what else can I say... I was forced to go to Kinko's about an hour ago (I refuse to be associated with what came out of it) in an emergency. Kinko's is great if you ever want to settle for complete garbage, just hit these motherfuckers up, sheeesh! They suck so, so terribly at life. Whatever, I'm over it, they'll get whats coming to them, beliee dat!! Huh? Wait a minute I think that dude in the pic is Blagojevich, who is definately the type o' dude that would be just as classy as he is depicted in this fine illustration. What else? Oh! The Winter Solstice will be occuring around Dec. 21st-ish, so the good news is if you manage to survive the Warewolf / Vampire / Zombie / Shadow People / Succubi and or Incubi (depending on your sexual preference) / Doppleganger / Alien / Poltergeist / Shark Attacks, that will be happening that night, the good news is that the days will be getting longer, so that's good. In other news I guess I smoke again, which is awesome. I know that I smoke (officially) now because when I woke up this morning covered in silly string and Ukranian hookers, the first thing I did was reach for my Camels. That's all for now. You're all gonna get it... and I'm gonna give it!!

Sad Facts No. 2...

OMG! I have been slacking so hard this month, I wrote this in about 5 minutes just to get some new content up here so they are probably sub-par:

-If you voted in this last election (or any) it didn't matter. (I did, look at me participating and junk, so cute.)

-2012 draws closer as each second passes.

-Nothing that tastes good or feels good is good for you.

-You're reading this right now

-You genuinely enjoy at least one "reality" television show (myself included).

-Babies are occasionally found in dumpsters.