Absinthe

I feel like there are a lot of misconceptions about Absinthe in modern culture. Recently I purchased a bottle from "Sam's Wine and Spirits" over the weekend. Before I talk about the absinthe though, "Sam's" (not Sam's Club), is amazing, every type of beer, booze, wine whatever alcohol you can imagine.. they've got it, and free samples at the end of each ailse, so you can actually get a little drunk while you shop! Anywho, Absinthe was recently legalized here, in 2007, Absinthe (true Absinthe), was being sold again for the first time since 1912. When I say "True Absinthe" that means it contains the chemical compound Thujone, which is contained in the Grand Wormwood, The US law limits the amount of Thujone in absinthe to 10 mg/kg. Studies have shown that a majority of french absinthe contained somewhere between 6-12 mg/kg. So we are on track with that. Thujone was previously believed to stimulate the cannabinoid receptors in your brain like THC when you smoke dope, but they could not prove this. The previous bottle I had I ordered from Chech Rep. and it's claim was the "highest Thujone content" at I think like 33 mg or something like that. Basically, I don't think you can hallucinate from drinking absinthe I have drank a bunch and can't say I have every felt anything even close to hallucinating. Granted it will totally get you wasted because its usually like 100-120 proof, so there is that. The Bottle pictured is Le Tourment Vert, it's made in France, is 100 proof and I paid like $45.00 - 50.00, I like it.

Some Wrapping Paper

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I had this idea for wrapping paper, so if you're lucky enough to be receiving a gift from me over the holiday's expect to receive it wrapped up in this paper. At first glance it may appear as though these are harmless Christmas lights or something, but it is actually just a bunch of delicious pills. All kinds Uppers, Downers, Overs and Unders.

T-Shirt Idea

This is an idea I had for a T-shirt... T-shirts are awesome... I can't wait to drink some beer and listen to music... I'm going to a concert tonight... Suck my balls... Dorks!

FUCK

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A.D.D. On A Page

Hey, here is a cool doodle I drew, it ain't done yet but it will be at some point. I don't think I can work on it any more tonight because my hands are too shaky from being way too over caffeinated, this is probably also the reason I won't be getting to sleep at a reasonable time. I'm just glad my DVR is all filled up from Sunday. Some shows you should watch if you aren't already: The Life and Times of Tim (HBO), True Blood (HBO) and Dexter (Showtime). I'm gonna go watch these now, and eat a whole bunch of chicken. I am probably a chickens worst nightmare because I have eaten so, so many of them. Today I had Harold's Chicken Shack for lunch, so that is gangster is so many ways! Maybe I will blog again tonight but maybe not. As always you can click on the photo for detail of the drawing.

Penis Jokes Make me Laugh

I found this and thought it was funny because the word boner is used several times... and that is funny to me.

Random Band Names

Thinking of band names is a pretty fun thing to do when you're bored, so that's basically what this is. I put this list together in about 10 minutes so it's probably not stellar but, hopefully it will inspire other people to think of band names. Everyone knows, if you want to be a rock n' roll star, first thing is to figure out what your gonna call yourself. Next, you buy cool clothes, get some tattoos, cool hair, smoke and drink all the time and have tons of sex. If you are a dude, try and start looking slightly sexually ambiguous. After that, go around and start telling people your in a band and act dangerous. I think that's it, after you start doing all of this you will begin to draw some interest from major labels and after that, they basically write the songs for you, you're done good job rockstar, no go scoop yourself up a (Hanna Montana-ish) girlfriend and now your really done. Anyway here are some random names I just though of:

• The Lieutenant Generals
• We Only Kill Hookers
• Banana in Your Pocket
• Middle Management
• The Nutritional Facts
• Butt Tattoo
• The Mr. Mister's
• Wait... What?
• Alive and Deadly
• Porcelain Pork Chops

We had a pretty good one this weekend, it was "Houndstooth ???" Something, I can't remember, Oh well. Later.

Movies in 3-D!!!

Ah yes, that's right 3-d Bitches! Recently me and a ladyfriend of mine went to this awesome old theater by my house and saw "A Nightmare Before Christmas" in 3D, it was pretty F'ing cool. Then this past weekend we checked out this "horror" film called "House" which was kinda lame, but the saving grace was a trailer for a film called "My Bloody Valentine 3D". This one comes out in January and I am totally stoked brah! It looks awesome. But, it did get me thinking, why aren't all movies in 3D? They should be, No? When I think back I can recall a few 3D experiences that I thought were pretty cool. One being "Captain Eo" at Epcot Center starring Michael Jackson, it was legit fer sure. Another was Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" in 3D, that way also pretty damn cool. So to the film makers that are undoubtly reading CDS5000 all the time, please work exclusively in 3D, thank you! There was also a comercial for the DVD release of the movie "Journey To The Center of The Earth", starring skilled thespian Brandon Frasier, but they do include 3D glasses with the movie, so that's cool. Expect to see a lot more stuff in 3D, maybe if we are lucky they can even figure out a way to make life 3D, or dare I say 4D, what would that be like. I did manage to steal my 3D glasses from the movie the other night so I am ready to go.

Quick Update (Thur 10:25 am):

I just found this little 3D gem this morning too, There was a movie made back in the 70's called "Piranha", I liked it. So the are redoing it in the coming year and it's also gonna be in 3D! Here is the story in short: a tremor causes Arizona's Lake Havasu floor to open, setting free scores of prehistoric piranhas, Lake Havasu huh? at lease we'll get to see some boobs! below is some concept art.

Something I Bought Today

Not really sure why, but Ouija board popped into my head today, and I was like, "Why the Fuck do I not have one of these?". So after work I immediately drove to Toys R Us and was happy to find one there for $22.00, a sigh of relief washed over me as the lady who assisted me helped me find it (because I did not want to take the time to find it myself). So I now am the proud owner of a liaison to spiritual world (Sooo Sweet!). I haven't used it yet because it is kinda creeping me out, I was reading some shit on the internet (where u are now), and I dunno, I think I am psyching myself out or something. Actually, I wanted to take a picture of it just now with me giving the "thumbs up", but I don't even want to take it out of the box right now, so the picture is from earlier tonight. I went to the gym this evening where my mother works and was telling her about it, she apparently has had some weird experiences with one of these things back in the day, but I equate that to the fact she is a raging alcoholic and crazy. Ha! JK, I love you mum! if you ever read this thing, actually, I kinda hope you don't anymore, because there is some fucked up shit on here. What was I talking about? Ah yes the Ouija board, so I will sack up at some point and play with the thing, maybe I should get a little high before I do.. hmm, we'll see? I don't think I will ask it anything too taboo, mostly stuff about the High School Musical cast and the Zac Effron dude or whatever... that's kinda on my radar right now. In unrelated news I just watched this totally fucked up Japanese movie called "Audition", it's a slow starter, but gets totally fucked at the end, plus sub-titles can be a bit of a bummer. The director is the same guy that did "Ichi The Killer", which is also pretty darn sweet, but not for the squimish. If your into this type of thing, you should check it out.

Suicide, update...

You may have read my suicide post recently and I stumbled upon an interesting fact. My official ethnic background is Lithuanian (there is a spot of Hungarian in there too, like Keyser Söze), and several of my amigos have the same background, you know who you are, you sons of bitches. Anyway, Lithuania has the highest suicide rate per capita on the planet. So, I now see why my ancestors left that joint, it probably sucks pretty bad. I used to think I might like to go there at some point in my life, now I'm not so sure. Nah, I still would like to go.

My Doppelgänger Obsession...

I started writing a story about a person (me), who sees himself or is visited by himself, as a separate person. This other version of myself is telling me that I will die. Now, don't go breaking my balls about "this has been done, yadda, yadda", everything has been done asshole! So, anyway, I started doing some research on the subject and found out the term for this apparition of one's own self is called a "Doppelgänger", which is German for "Double Walker (Goer)". The whole idea of seeing myself as another person, just fucking creeps the shit out of me, and I actually have, in a dream anyway, and I assure you the context of this dream was generally terrifying, I will probably never forget it. Many famous people have claimed to have seen their own Doppelgänger, often times right before their death, Abe Lincoln and Queen Elizabeth to name a couple. There was a study done in Switzerland back in Sept. 2006, in which they were using electromagneti stimulation on a patient left temporal junction, during the study the patient described feeling their own presense and then actually seeming themselves. So the Doppelgänger thing could just be a failure of this region of the brain. The idea of it being something of the supernatural is way more... romantic, I guess, so I'm sticking with that. Just hope you don't ever see your self in your waking life because it probably is not a good thing.

Blaaaghh!!!

Sorry, I just threw up, this is my 100th post, above you'll see some of the great and life changing topics that have been covered on CDS5000. This blog has changed my life and I am sure it has changed millions of other peoples lives too. We've fuckin' touched the hearts of children and worthless elderly people all over the world. We've fuckin' raised money for the poor and hungry, helped spread world peace and even occasionally peed our pants when we had too much to drink. But, it feels like only yesterday, I decided to help make this fuckin', fucked up world a better place by creating this blog, and here we are 100 posts later. Drink it in motherfuckers, drink it in! Hopefully I will be quitting my job, and living full time on the streets, then I can really focus on writing here at CDS5000. Just congratulating, myself and my team of scientists from all over the globe that help make this blog possible. Your all the best you motherfuckers! especially you Timbo oh, and you too Ramsey, keep your nose clean gentlemen and lets continue to do this thing until the internet explodes!

Zombie Morning

This is a picture of my shower... It reminded me of Zombies... Everything reminds me of Zombies... I can't sleep tonight. This day seemed like a day that zombies would probably come and eat my brains so good and hard.

Jaws is the best movie ever...

Recently I have been thinking a lot about new potential tattoos, and I thought about this today, so I decided to mock it up and see if I liked the idea or not, so here it is. Jaws is (like the title says) the best movie ever sooooo, it'd be worth it. I want to do something on the ribs relatively soon, because it is totally fucking badass... and so am I. Fuck Yeah! Jaws!

Oh, Oh! here is another idea* that just popped into the old noodle...

*For the record, I am not a white supremacist or anything. I voted for Obama, sooo, pretty sure I'm cool with black people, now (like I wasn't already!), nor am I some kind of Jew hating anti-Semite. On the other hand, the harsh reality is that if I ever get incarcerated for an extended period of time, I will have to allign myself with the Aryan Brotherhood, for survial purposes. Sorry, thats the way it goes in prison, obviously I will try my best to avoid this scenario, thank you for your time

My Bloody Foot

Hey, I was sitting around, feeling just not great, so I decided to hop on my bike and go get some of that Emergen-C stuff. It's a powdered Vitamin C supplement and I find it makes me feel good... I guess, not as good as blow though, that makes you feel REALLY good. So anyway, rode my bike to Jewel and went to hop up the little yellow curb by the bike rack and (because it was wet) my back tire slipped and I fell down :( I actually like falling down. I feel that falling and tripping is pretty much the funniest thing in life, so I will gladly take one for the team occasionally. Also I cut my foot on the bike chain and it looks pretty sweet so enjoy the photo, and don't masterbate to it, ya sickies! I should probly clean that huh?

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Rainbows and Chocolate Bunnies

There is a new trend emerging in today's world and it is getting big and totally hot, it's called suicide and it's definitely worth a try. Not sure how accurate this list is but it is all I can find as far as the top ten most common forms of suicide. the list is as follows: 10. Drowning - Like either you drive you car of a bridge or jump of a cliff into a large body of water. 9. Electrocution - By jamming a eating utensil into a wall outlet or taking a bath with your toaster. 8. Cutting - Taking a razor or knife to a major artery. 7. Jumping - Throwing your body off of a high building or something like that. 6. Suffocation - You know all those plastic grocery bags you have, toss one over your head and this is how you will go. 5. Carbon Monoxide Poisoning - The whole hose in the tail pipe or running car in the garage thing. 4. Poison - Taking a substance internally like; cleaners, industrial fluids, diazepam, cyanide, and the like. 3. Hanging - Tie a noose and uh, you know how it goes from here. 2. Drugs and Alcohol - Take a shitload of pills, hard drugs even booze can help u off yourself! 1. Guns - Probably the most surefire (ha!) way of doing it, bullet to the head and your done.

My top 5 better ways of doing it:

5. Volcano Sacrifice - Dress up like a tribesman do a bunch of shrooms, acid or peyote, and hurl yourself into the mouth of a Volcano. 4. Blow Shit Up - Get like a bunch of explosives, a fast car, some death metal and crash into a gas station or tanker truck. 3. The Greatest Wave - You know that last scene in Point Break where Johnny Utah tracks down Bohdi in Australia and lets him ride the killer waves, yeah that would be pretty Gnar! 2. Man vs. Beast - Go and have yourself a fight with a Great White Shark / African Lion / Grizzley Bear. 1. Sex - Basically getting fucked to death would probably be the best way to kill yourself, not exactly sure how it would work but whatever.

Slow News Day

Just so you know what your getting for $8.95, it is an actual Chinese Chicken Salad,
I made 50 salads last night so get them while they are fresh, we will ship worldwide.

I feel I must apoligize, I wish there was something to talk about (new wise) on this glorious Tuesday... The weather is nice, I actually wore shorts today, because this is probably the last time this year I will be able to do so. Now that daylight savings time, it gets dark at noon so I cut my grass at 7:00 a.m. today, pretty gangster. Shorts are great, I mean REALLY great, don't you think? Here is something of note, I will be selling limited edition Chinese Chicken Salads on CDS5000, for $8.95 ea. So if you would like YOUR OWN, limited edition CDS5000 Chinese Chicken Salad (edition of 50), hurry up and order. If you order in the next 48 hours enter the promo code: "RapeVan 08", you get a free CDS5000 limited edition menu item of equal or lesser value. Other menu items include; Chinese Chicken Chili Cheese Dog, Chinese Chicken Meat Lovers Pizza Puff, Chinese Chicken Country Fried Steak and Eggs, and finally, Chinese Chicken Southwestern Style Egg rolls. There has been some talk about these suits, named Barack and John, not sure what it's about though they are probably on dancing with the stars or something.

I also wroth this Haiku like 5 seconds ago:

I Love My Wiener,

My Wiener Is My Best Friend,

I Killed A Man Once.

Dead or Alive

I made this today, when I was bored and an idle mind is the devil's workshop. Satan spends so much time in there already I need to stay busy or else my blood lust will continue to grow and I will continue to kill. Last night I noticed an old painting in my living room, and it said, "Your Worth More Dead Than Alive". I added in the line "So Go Ahead And Kiss Your Fucking Ass Goodbye :)". There is a picture of myself at the end because I'm a complete egomaniac and would ultimately rather look at photos of myself than anything else. Or, as Dennis said in regard to pictures, "if people aren't have sex, or I'm not in any of them, I'm just not interested". So yeah, basically thought the saying had a nice ring to it, threw in some cool photos and that's it. My main motivation for this is that we are all soooo Fucked!... S my D, and thank you.

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